I am almost 16 i have 4 other siblings ages 13, 5, 3, 1. i am home schooled. (but not the unsocial kind i'm very active in sports and orchestra.) i felt suicidal yesterday even went so far as to write a note. but i found this forum on ways to carry out my wish to end my life.I am very glad i found this because even though ive only been on her for two days i feel very supported and loved. the reason why i wanted to end my life is because i have just too much pain and stuff on my plate,honestly i always have. With 4 other siblings my parents often ask my to babysit for various things and i understand it because who wants to take 3 toddlers into the grocery store? So i babysit ALOT and i have alot of school too. Sometimes the toddlers are just too distracting so i dont get hw done. and my mom and dad are putting alot of pressure on me right now to get it done in a timely manner. i also have sports two days a week and orchestra 2 days a week and when im home i get distracted on hw so i end up doing on the weekend too. Also i just moved to another state from the one i was born and raised in. So im missing my friends and all of my family lived there too. im talking even 2nd cousins. The only time i can talk to my two best friends is late at night. one of them is a dancer so i have to stay up even later late to talk to her. and then after i go to bedi cant sleep because im crying and worried about the next day. i worry so much my sister took a picture of me sleeping (one of the rare occasions) an my face had a worried look. On top of that i have gained some 40lbs in about 6 months and im ashamed of my body. i have tried a diet and excessive camp i lost weight but that was when i was a little better. over all im just tired and unhappy. i cry for no reason any time of the day and my parents dont even seem to are when i try to talk to them about it. All my mom does is brush it off by saying oh i felt exactly like you at your age. anyway i just wanted to get that off my chest. right now im just feeling a bit down.