Hey all, as another night passes without sleep. I just realized something about me. I feel lonely sad angry crazy. i feel like shit but then im upbeat and energetic. I can laugh 1 moment and drop a tear the other moment. Isnt borderline awesome! ..... i keep saying im ok too evryone around me but im not. Why do we lie? whats the dam use? Ive got a good job. a nice income. Friends. But its not what i seek cause i cant bear myself. People see me as a "good" person. But im not. I hurt people by things i do i say. I come on here on chat too help people out give em tips ect. But in the end its hypocritical. Cause in the end i always fall down on my face. I either hurt myself or get drunk or high just too sleep so i can last another day. The crazy thing is why do people tell themselfs the same lie evry single day . The thruth is . People like me . are doomed to not get old. Or be happy. No matter what i try. i fall down the same rabit hole. now its just counting the days down. Till my other me is coming out of the shadows again and take control. I hope im right and that becouse im suffering. Someone else doesnt have to. But thats proberly a lie too.