I won't kill myself, that's for sure. I'm safe. But as now it's holidays, partly blessing partly curse, I - again - realized that I'm actually doing nothing. At least nothing of importance. Nothing one would write into their biography or something. Although I wanted to do sports over the holidays so that I would maybe get a better mark next term I couldn't go out yesterday and today. Or I just didn't do so. There's a constant pain in my tummy and I have a headache. I know that sports would be good now, but I just can't get myself away from my little hippo. I've been knitting for the last three days straight. Just a few minutes ago I've finished the last part I need, and now I would only need to stuff and sew it together. But I kinda don't feel like doing anything anymore... I'm tired since I haven't slept much lately. I've been listening to too many creepypastas. I don't like the silence when I'm knitting, so I put my mp3-player besides me and let it play creepypastas, since I can't concentrate on knitting when listening to music (I would probably end up singing all the time ^^'). I just came from A to L in this list of alphabetically ordered horrorstories. But I'm thrilled enough to see monsters in every dark corner. Usually it doesn't get too near to me when I listen to it over day. But as soon as the sun begins to set I can't listen to it anymore. I've been listening to these stories until 9 pm, which was about half an hour ago. It's almost completely dark now. I just turned it off because I felt I wouldn't stand that much longer... Anyway, I feel awkward and I feel like my life it one single big loss of sense.