I just started self harming

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by hardlife, Dec 18, 2011.

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  1. hardlife

    hardlife Well-Known Member

    I'm crying at the moment because I've just hit myself several times in the face. I got so fucking angry at myself so I just did it. I have never done such things before. So it's kinda scary.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do hope you can call someone hun a crisis line even to just talk it out next time instead of harming you hugs
  3. hardlife

    hardlife Well-Known Member

    I'm in a state now where I don't want any comfort by someone on the phone. I don't wanna tell someone how bad I feel and hear him/her say "Oh, that must be hard...yes...yes....I understand...oh, sorry..."

    It's not because thats a bad thing, it's just that I don't deserve it. An Omen I am.
  4. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    You aren't a monster, you are human. Everyone has bad days and it sounds like today was particularly hard for you. I'm sorry you got driven to this point. I've been there before and I know saying I'm sorry alone doesn't solve the problem but I think a good first step for help is talking about it. We are here for you if you want to open up.
  5. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    As a self harmer, I know what you mean by not wanting to hear someone say "oh, that must be hard" and "I understand". Once I get to that point, hotlines and help sites don't even cross my mind. Sometimes, for me, finding a distraction works. It's worth a try. If you like writing, try that. Or if you like reading, that might help. Snapping rubber bands is a common distraction method, too. Like dice said, everyone is human. And if you ever do want to talk, don't hesitate to reach out.
  6. Fredericks

    Fredericks Well-Known Member

    Calling might not be welcome (I'm afraid of phones, myself), but online help centers can be good. I forgot the one I used when I had a panic attack, but I found it just Googling for one, and the person was really helpful. She wasn't pushy or condemnatory or condescending: she was really careful not to offend me. Their job is pretty much to get you to talk about what's bothering you and then suggest things to keep you occupied/safe/distracted.
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