I have no desire to live anymore. I've been suicidal for the past 4 years. When I was 11 I tried to hang myself because I got teased all the time and sometimes threatened , but my mom caught me and then yelled at me Then for the next 3 years I just cried all the time. I ended up not going back to public school and instead my mom decided to home school me because I refused to go. Since then I've lost all my friends. I've flunked 3 times. My depression has gotten way worse to the point where I have started cutting. I have no one, my family doesn't care about me. People always tell me that they probably do and that i just don't know it. But they don't. My mom completely ignores me my sisters and brothers tell me constantly that I should just die and that no one would miss me or leave so so they don't have to see me. The main reason why I want to die is because of my childhood I did not have a good one at all I could live with the teasing but when I was little someone I knew very well used to touch me all the time Until i was about 7. Then from there I made some really bad decisions and messed up other peoples lives and I hate myself for it. people always say it's gonna get better but it's gotten worse. i just can't live with all this pain. Day after day I find myself crying for hours and contemplating on whether or not i should just do it.