I just wanna die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DarkVortex, Sep 23, 2006.

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  1. DarkVortex

    DarkVortex Member

    Of all the people I've ever hated, I hate myself the most. I'm married with a 19 mo daughter and even they can't make me feel better about myself. I just wanna die, but there is still a part of me that wants to see my daughter grow up.
     
  2. Moogue13

    Moogue13 Guest

    DV

    Please don't take this the wrong way but by the sounds of it you need to see your Dr about Post Natal Depression. I know a lot of Mums who have suffered with this both immediatly afterwards and delayed. It is a life changing event having a child and if you are not getting the full support from your partner it can be a very lonely place.

    Just look in your daughters eyes....

    Keep Smiling

    Moogue
     
  3. DarkVortex

    DarkVortex Member

    I think you misunderstand, I'm the father/husband.
     
  4. Moogue13

    Moogue13 Guest

    DV

    My humble appologies - but it still stands, having children is life changing whether you are male or female. I still think yuoshould talk to your Dr about it. First speak to your wife, you are loved, you made your daughter through love... that is still there it just may have been lost or re-directed for a while - you need to find that again.

    Why do you feel so low?

    Hugs

    Moogue
     
  5. DarkVortex

    DarkVortex Member

    I've been pre-programed by my father that everything I do should be perfect, but at the same time, everything I do do is wrong in some way-shape-or form. I'm unemployed with absolutely no money. My daughter stays with my mother in law during the day because we don't have the food to feed her. I've been trying to get a job, but nobody contacts me. My family doesn't have anything I can do for cash and I have better morals than to steal from people. I'm lazy, stupid (but with a 145 IQ), fat and just an all around loser. I just wish that someone would shoot me or I'd die of a heart attack or something. I hate life.
     
  6. Moogue13

    Moogue13 Guest

    Are you in the UK or elsewhere?
     
  7. DarkVortex

    DarkVortex Member

    USA, south mississippi. It's on the Gulf Coast. Where Hurricane Katrina hit.
     
  8. Moogue13

    Moogue13 Guest

    Yeah they are wankers like that - I am consistent in my wonderfull ability to permenantly dissapoint my parents.

    You must have recruitment agencies over there - try http://www.adeccousa.com I know it is a bugger going through agencies as they cream a %age off your wage - but even if it is temping work it will get up and out and about and will start to make you feel more positive about things... espicially when you get your first paycheck and can go and buy a teddy bear for your daughter.

    Ahh the great IQ debate... I too have a high IQ and I too am mad as cheese. As for the lazy.... this is something that will change when you are more positive about life and yourself.... all of which unfortunatly all relates back to getting a job, proving your tosser of a father wrong and sticking two fingers up at all the bastards that keep telling you that you can't do it... because you can.... for you, your daughter and your wife

    Moogue
     
  9. DarkVortex

    DarkVortex Member

    thank you for all your wisdom and comfort. I've applied to the Waffle House here (its a 24/7 breakfast diner). Maybe it can bring me out of my gutter.
     
  10. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Your daughter's still really young. Do you really want your wife to have to raise a child single handedly, and to somehow explain to her daughter that her daddy died because of suicide? She'll never know you - she wouldnt be old enough to remember... and then she'll be stuck trying to figure out why you did it.

    Are you really sure about those last 3 words in that paragraph? How about when your daughter was born, I imagine you felt so proud then, because you were a dad for the first time. Or maybe when your daughter goes to her first day at school. Or how about when you married your wife? I'm pretty sure that moments like those are worth living for.
    IQ isnt a completely reliable way to prove intelligence, methinks, but for the record my IQ is pretty decent too... lol.

    Thats great that you've applied to the Waffle House there... almost any work is better than nothing sometimes. And its a start at least. Things DO look up, even if it doesnt seem like it. :hug:

    TDM
     
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