I just want a reason, a reason to wake up a reason to bother in life. I cant remember a time in the last ten years that i was truly happy. i dont wanna go through life just surviving cos at the moment that s all it seems. i constantly feel that i am in a downward spiral that has no end and i am sick of waiting for things to get better cos they never seem to however much i try. so whats the point. i know what i wanna do but can i really do it without thinking about how it will affect the people around me, so what… i ll plaster a smile across my face and barely survive each day with the mere hope that tomorrow wont come. or i just do it, do what i want for once in my life and be happy.