Okay, first of my problems, is my own father hates me... made my mom walk out in the middle of the rain [when he had a perfectly working car] with me, when I was a baby, and had pneumonia... he's been hitting on my mom, in-front of me, ever since I was small... and most of the time, it's for something that I did, that she took the blame for... when I got a bit older, about 5-6, I would cry, and he would threaten me, and make me stop crying... telling me if I didn't he was going to blister my ***... the older I get, the worse he gets, to me... I turned thirteen, he made me cry so much, I probably would have made an obvious puddle... I turn fourteen, he says "I don't care if you get raped".... then, there's the fact that we live with my grandmother... dad's mom... all my life... we never left... our household is HUGE... I live with my uncle *a supposed rapist*, another uncle, my mom, my dad, my brother, my grandmother, and me.... speaking of my neighborhood, however, is a whole other story... shooting, day, and night... some of my neighbors are drug dealers... one actually got arrested... the rest of the people on this street, are mostly drug-dealers, as-well.... also, rapists... and people who WILL beat you up... just for being white-skinned.... All in all, I'm not wanted here... not by my dad at-least... I actually hate MYSELF, now... I just want it to end... all I do is hurt people... and make them upset... I have no friends in real life, I'm not aloud to go outside, because of all the problems, I can't go to a regular public school, because, again, bad neighborhood... all my friends are online, and they can't really help me much... No one else would miss me anyway.... I just want it all to end.... so why shouldn't I just end it all?