I dont know what to do, im struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts all the time. I cant remember last time i was actually happy, even when i should be happy im not. I just feel so alone and i want it all to end. I have family but i just cant be around them, because everytime i see them im reminded of what has happened to me. Its like i dont want a new chance or a new life i just want it all to end, i feel like there is nohing for me in this world. the only way im coping is with self harm trying to think of what i can do to make things better but i always come up empty, i just dont want to anymore only thing still keeping me here is that im afraid of the pain before, if that makes any sense. I just dont know what to do, i just feel so alone, so empty.