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i just want it to end

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Staff Alumni
ok so i dont post often on the forum , but tonight i just cant handle being in my own head , things are so out of whack and scrambled etc , i dont know wether im comming or going , i feel so fucken guilty for being alive right now , and i feel completely helpless , i want to go and help ppl but because of my illnesses etc i fucken cant , what am i supposed to do , today i just got wasted for the break away from things , :( yeah ive relasped too , which im angry about too but hey u can only handle so much ... ive seen so much this last week and it haunts me :( i fucken cant take it anymore .... i feel that im moaning when i talk abot whats going on but really im not i just need to talk about it and get it out , it eats me :( urgh im so frustrated and helpless
its not fair it really isnt , *sigh*

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I hope you do continue to talk about it okay vent get it out of your brain and from inside so others here can help. I am sorry you are in such pain inside I hope you can get a early appt with your pdoc or therapist to get help so you can feel a little more stable to help you deal with life at ht moment hugs


Fiber Artist
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Esther huni, I am so sorry. Such a traumatic time for you and yours. Keep talking, here, FB, MSN, whatever, so many ppl are here for you and although we can fix it, we can love you and support you. Hold on huni.
Im glad you are alive, the devastation in your country has killed many.
Often only the good die young Esther, you lived.
You have regrets, most of us do.
I am pleased i know you, many here love you very much.
Your ears are never closed to those in chat, ever.
Stay safe, stay strong, stay loved.
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