ok so i dont post often on the forum , but tonight i just cant handle being in my own head , things are so out of whack and scrambled etc , i dont know wether im comming or going , i feel so fucken guilty for being alive right now , and i feel completely helpless , i want to go and help ppl but because of my illnesses etc i fucken cant , what am i supposed to do , today i just got wasted for the break away from things , yeah ive relasped too , which im angry about too but hey u can only handle so much ... ive seen so much this last week and it haunts me i fucken cant take it anymore .... i feel that im moaning when i talk abot whats going on but really im not i just need to talk about it and get it out , it eats me urgh im so frustrated and helpless
its not fair it really isnt , *sigh*
its not fair it really isnt , *sigh*