I've attempted 24 times in my lifetime. Out of that 24, only 2 were nearly successful. And those were accidents. I don't want to kill myself. Well, yeah, I want to die 99 percent of the time, but I sit back and think about my brother, my mom, my dad. And I can't go through with it. I'm too ashamed to straight up admit that I've tried so many times (or at all, even...) to my family. Mostly because...I love them to death, but they just wouldn't get it. I know that sounds overly cliched (YOU WON'T EVER GET ME MOM AND DAD, RAWRRRR ANGST), but it's true. I just want someone around me to realize that I'm not okay (I don't exactly hide it) and give me some glimmer of hope and faith in people and my reason for being on this Earth.