I just want to be left alone.....PLEASE

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BabyGraceBlue, Feb 15, 2008.

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  1. BabyGraceBlue

    BabyGraceBlue New Member

    Why won't they let me be alone? The phone keeps ringing, even though the ringer is off, I can see it light up "incoming call". How hard is it to understand that this isn't some sort of cry-for-help, or pity-me statement. ALONE, please. Why do *they* take offense?

    I just want to do my thing... If I cut myself, don't ask why. Don't tell me not to. It's not your fault, so don't get mad at me. Do people really think that if they get angry and yell at me that I will feel better? Oh, sure... just what I need to make me smile, someone telling me how "stupid" I am. That will just put the giggles right back in me. WTF???

    This is my first post. Just joined today. 36 years old and have been feeling this way for as long as I can remember. I did real well for about 7 years. I didn't cut myself or abuse sex/drugs. Recently, something has changed and I can't shake it. I just want to disappear. I've been thinking about how I could do it without making everyone mad. See, my concern is not that they will be sad, everyone gets sad when someone dies.... I don't want anyone mad at me. I have tried for years to make everyone happy. I have to be everything to everyone; friend, confidant, lover, care giver.... even when some of the people in my life can't stand eachother, I feel I have to always be on both sides of the fence. Not so much the referee, but just available. I don't want anyone to be mad at me, thats all.

    So, when I say "I want to be alone", get over it. It's not you. Just let me do my thing.
    And don't be mad.
  2. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    Welcome top SF.

    You won't find empty platitudes here..
    If you wanna be silent that is fine..
    If you want to talk, you can..
    As someone of a similar age I can understand the need for solitude, but should you ever need to vent or even just talk I hope that you will use the forum..
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