... but I can't. :sad: "They" don't bother me much anymore(I'm starting to get lonely :tongue, but "they" have left me this numbness. I should be both sad and happy right now, but it doesn't feel right. :unsure: I bought a caravan with two of my friends today. They are very exited about it, and we're planning on how to use it this summer, how much fun we're going to have. I'm not exited at all. :sad: My mum was in a bad mood when I came home, and it made me feel like I was 12 years old again, even though I thought it couldn't bother me anymore. I got a C on my first exam, and that's great because I thought I had failed. I did feel a bit happy about it, but then I realized that I have no one to share it with. I can't even tell my parents because of my mothers mood. :sad: This should have been a great day, but I'm still feeling suicidal. The only reason I'm alive is that I hate to let people down. :sad: I just want to cry because then I would at least feel like I'm alive.