I just want to die already.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aao, May 20, 2012.

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  1. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    I want to die. No point in staying here. I'm all fucking alone. No one gives a fuck about me. Everybody fucking leaves me. I'm fucking done. I just want to die. I feel like it's over. I fucking hate myself so much. It's over.
     
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hello
    Glad youve found here to vent and you will find support.Can you let us in whats going on please.Dying aint a solution so please vent here
     
  3. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    Everybody fucking leaves me. I'm fucking tired of being ALL ALONE. I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.
     
  4. ninnie

    ninnie Member

    I know how you feel 'aao'. I feel exactly the same: I have no family, I have had a very abusive upbringing which is still affecting me 2 decades on, I've been in therapy for about a decade and things just don't seem to get better. I'm unemployed, live in a horrible house that I hate but it's really hard to find another place to stay where I live, I feel alone as well, especially for not having a family who could care about me. Life is just one negative vicious circle for me and I can't seem to break out of it, no matter what I try. My friends and therapist are in awe at how strong I am (seem) but I don't feel strong at all.

    I think that the feeling that no-one gives a fuck about you isn't true but it's true enough in your eyes. Do you have family, or close friends who care about you?
    And do you want to die or do you want your life as it is at the moment to stop? There's a big difference there.

    Love,
    ninnie
     
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Yes being alone sux sometimes and you say everyone has left you who is everyone.I do get it but please let us in a little so we can help
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Have you looked into the possibility of finding and joining peer support groups? Sharing concerns, fears, problems, ideas, feelings, and testimonies with others who feel they're in the same situation can often lead to great support and new friendships. This forum online is a type of peer support group. There also exists, in many places, support groups where people meet together in person. I don't know how or where or who to look to for such groups in other countries, but in the U.S., a good place to start looking is through NAMI. They can point you to something in your area.
     
  7. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    That's my case too.
     
  8. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    Every fucking "friend" I make fucking leaves me. I'm always there for them, I always listen, I always show my support, I always care and they always end up leaving me and proving they don't care. I'm just tired. My life is a fucking cesspool.
     
  9. ninnie

    ninnie Member

    It's really hard to keep believing that one day things will get better. So far....they haven't. In fact, they have gotten worse.

    It wasn't a very good day when my therapist diagnosed me with 5 different mental health labels either.

    Do you want to share something about your mental health problems?
     
  10. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    No joke been there and still am for some dickwads.The best thing you can do is accept they are not friends and seek some new ones.Also learn that within yourself you are no 1 dosnt matter what others think have the respect for you
     
  11. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    I have OCD, ADHD, anxiety and apparently Bipolar II.
     
  12. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    I am SICK of trying to make new "friends". I can't do it anymore. I want to die.
     
  13. ninnie

    ninnie Member

    I agree with Spidy: these people are not real friends because real friends care about their friends and your 'friends' obviously don't. They are not worth your energy if all they do is use you. you can find better than them. It doesn't sound like these 'friends' were like minded people at all. Once you will find like minded people you'll know what I mean. It's hard, but they're out there somewhere!
     
  14. ninnie

    ninnie Member

    Ha, welcome to the club aao. I have severe attachment disorder, borderline personality disorder, eating disorder, post traumatic stress syndrome and good old plain old depression.

    These problems don't make life any easier, do they? I do know that my outlook to the world is coloured by my mental health problems. I do know that life must be more pleasant and worth living seeing through other people's eyes, but it's hard to believe that life can actually be a fun occasion too.

    I understand that you're sick and tired of looking for new friends, and therefore you should just give yourself some time off. Maybe it's a good idea, if you feel up to it of course, to join a club where you can meet like minded people without having the expectation of making friends there. It worked for me when I started going to a meditation group and I didn't go there to make friends: it just happened because I met like minded people.

    I realise that you haven't asked for advice on the friendship subject so I apologize if I may have hurt your feelings by making my suggestions.

    X
     
  15. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    ninnie just also said it well takes more energy to work out how to die than what it does to get better.Life is made of challenges and sometimes we need the guidence to work out how to get through them.Dying thats it the end nothing anyone can become worm shit but it takes a person strength to become themselves and thats what its all about living taking these tasks on.
     
  16. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    No, it doesn't take more energy to work out how to die than it does to get better. Dying is easier. Way, way fucking easier. I WANT to "become worm shit". FUCK EVERYONE.
     
  17. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I totally disagree with you on this as i have been on the path of suicidal thoughts and let me tell you they drained the crap out of me.I spent hours figuring methods out and how where when i was going to put my plan to use.I still get them but I try and think of the positives in my life now and that really dosnt drain me as much where as if I let the irrational thinking overtake it does drain me of everything.
     
  18. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    But have you taken any of the advice?
     
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