I've been contemplating suicide for... several months. I have determined, aside from biological nuisances, that what is primarily holding me back are my two children. But I am miserable, and my unhappiness doesn't benefit them. I think they may be better off without me, too. I don't know what to do, how to change --- nothing seems to help. I'm not strong. I don't have an intricate support system, and I have been unemployed for over a year --- little money. Their father could take care of my children, so I have that knowledge as a consolation. But I don't know how it would really impact them. I just wish I could be better, and I've tried for so long, I've really given my all over the years, and it's just not enough. It just isn't. I have sought professional help twice, and each time both therapists informed me that I was overwhelming and though they offered me techniques and things to de-stress, to build up confidence and relax... they just, well, they haven't helped me. I can't afford any other mental care. No one really cares about me anyway. I don't know what makes someone want to reach out and help damaged people like me, but here's to the last bit of hope for it that I have left. there's just too much pain, all the time, or there's too much emptiness, like i detach to cope, and there's no point. How does someone, when they reach this dark depth, ever get back out?