i just want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Joan alone, Aug 1, 2011.

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  1. Joan alone

    Joan alone Member

    i thought today was going to be a good day, but im sitting in my room wanting to die. im trying to figure out where my mum hid the alcohol and my meds, cos i seriously cant do anything anymore. im sick of being alive and being worthless.
    i cant do anything right and i cant keep the so-called friends i have and im so sick and tired of trying. i know noone likes me so i dont know why im even still here.
    i mean, after 4 attempts you would think it would get easier, but it doesnt cos i know the weaknesses of my previous attempts and have to make new plans each time to overcome them.
    my meds dont do anything. i wish they would so i wouldnt have to feel like absolute crap anymore. i hate it. i hate life i hate uni i hate the people who lie to me and say they care.
    i just want it to end. the pain hurts too much.
    :'(
     
  2. Have you gone back to your doctor and get your med dosage re-checked? :hug:

    Welcome to the forum. :hugtackles:
     
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Joan alone,

    I've talked to you a few times in chat. I remember you. :hugtackles:

    I never welcomed you to this forum either, so Welcome, welcome, and WELCOME!!! ;)

    On a more serious note, do you think changing which psychiatrist you see (or therapist, if possible) is something that could help you? Also, trying to find the right mix of meds that can help you can be frustrating. I can vouch 100% for that. Also, I understand that you're frustrated and suffering. :hug:

    Wish you well and hope you stay safe (your mom hid the alcohol and meds.. - do you feel like she loves you? If so, maybe you can try talking to her about your urges),

    Alex
     
  4. Joan alone

    Joan alone Member

    my doctor wont do anything about my meds. he wont change them at all, no matter how serious i seem to be.
    as for changing psychiatrists and therapists, ve been through that too much. they never help or listen. and no, my mum doesnt love me, otherwise she wouldnt have hidden the alcohol.
    the feeling is just getting worse and worse and i dont know what to do anymore
     
  5. Your mum hid the alcohol to keep you safe so that you won't do anything harmful using the alcohol..

    You able to get into the hospital emergency and get the doctors to adjust your med dosage..?:hugtackles:
     
  6. Joan alone

    Joan alone Member

    please. i think she hid it to make my life even worse than it is. at least with it, i was able to get so drunk i passed out. now what do i have? nothing. sleepless nights and crap days.
    as for emergency- im not sure. probably not. if noone wants to help me, then i dont care. if i die, it's their fault
     
  7. Joan, are you able to get into the chat room..? Try talking to our members and see if you feel a bit better ranting it out..? Please don't let suicide ruin your life.. Don't be drunk either; too much alcohol until you get yourself drunk is no good.. :hug:

    Just to let you know you can PM me if you want to.. Just be safe, can..? I hope to hear from you.. More :hug: to you..:hugtackles:
     
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