I want to die. What's to stop me? I don't make anything better by being here. I just do what I have to in the hope that it will redeem me and change my fate. But I know that's impossible. If I [sensored according to AUP... arent I good?] I would be so calm. I would be at peace. I would love for the tears to stop. For the fear to go away. For the pain to ease.