I just want to escape! *Possibly triggering*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SAVE_ME, Oct 23, 2010.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Everyday it feels like life just wants to play this little game called "f*** you!" I wake up in the morning, watch the news and all it ever is is doom, gloom and disaster. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. The government f***s up and then says "Oops! Our bad! But you people are going to have to pay for it!" And I suppose the question that springs to mind is -- when does this sh** f***ing end?!!! I just feel trapped in this hell hole of a world right now and I want to escape! No...I don't want to die to be honest but the more I think about it, the more that seems like a welcoming idea to me right now. Sort of a 'get out while you can' type thing because I have a feeling it's only going to get worse and worse before it gets better...if it even can at this point...seems like everything's broken beyond repair right now.

    I don't even know where this is going. Everything just seems so messed up right now and I don't think I'm going to make it out alive. Feels like all the demons and the bad guys all just got ahold of the world and twisted it and distorted it and ruined everything! And I seem to be one of the few who "gets it". Whenever I bring it up, people are like "Oh that's just life! Deal with it!" -- WHY does that HAVE to be life?! Why doesn't anyone DO anything to change it?!

    I just feel like I want to be put to sleep at the moment and never wake up again. I mean, what am I to do?! Just sit on this rock and continue to be a glutton for punishment or get off while I can? At this point I think that whatever is or isn't on the other side would be far better off than living through this nightmare...even if it is giving those slimy f***ers the satisfaction!

    If I'm honest, I do have a plan in place at the moment to take my own life. Whether or not I'll act on it is another question but there is a plan in place for when things get too messy. All I'm waiting for is that one event to push me over to the point of putting this plan into action...whenever I feel like my life has been irreparably damaged, I WILL do it! I suppose I'm just waiting for the right time at the moment but it is there, firmly in place.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Sean...I used to spin myself into a deep hole looking at all the bad in the world...made myself so sick...now I tried to change my view...forced myself to view something, one thing positive...no judgement, just find one thing...for me it was a small child laughing on a swing...I remember the day so clearly..Fall, three years ago...and since then, and not in a mindless way, I have looked for other things...they are sometimes hard to find, but they are there...J
  3. SweetJane88

    SweetJane88 Member

    i know. i hate when people tell me 'that's life' i too have focused on all the bullshit and given up on this world. i hate this world. i feel like i'm a pod person and i'm waiting for my alien family to beam me back up lol.

    i'm seriously banking on 2012 to do SOMETHING. right now i'm on meds so i'm not really suicidal anymore, but i still wonder why i even bother with life. it has rarely rewarded me and i dont need everything to be perfect, but god damn. but sean i don't think we truly have a say on when it's our time. other people have put up with worse at a worse time (1900-70s), but they stuck it out. life is what you make it to be...this is so true.
  4. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    you are right saying:poo: or you see what you want to see in this world is only part truth; has something been bothering you for a while which makes you more depressed than you think you should be on reading such pitiful news? You are right, SweetJane88 (Velvet underground?), the current generation has lesser to deal with than their predecessors but what we have more of are coping mechanisms which allow us to filter our negativity away from our life; this forum is one such example.
    Talk it out.
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I have to agree with the op that it seems to me that the world seems to be going to total shit.

    As far as the news goes though, consider that they are in the business of selling the news. So what ever is dramatic gets the most coverage.

    There was a study in the states showing that people who were regular consumers of news media had exaggerated fears about crime.

    Taking a holiday from watching the news might make you feel better.

    I don't agree with the view that life was worse pre 70's than today.

    I think that gays, women, and minorities have much more political and economic power than pre 70's, and that materially people may be better off than say, 1900.

    But there has been a breakdown of civility and the social contract. We have a much more alienated society.

    There was a study that said that women have much more economic power than they did in the 80's, but are now less happy.

    Gender relations are complete crap now. I think that young people people today are more screwed over than ever, and I say that as someone who is 39. I think that young people today have been given a really raw deal.
  6. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    First thing you need to do is to separate out

    (1) What's fuckup with the world

    (2) What's fuckup with your life

    These are two separate things. It seems to me that you are mixing the two together and it is doing you no good.

    The world is a big and complex place, it is virtually impossible for you as a single human being to fix it. You should instead concentrate on fixing the things you can fix which is Number Two. Fix the problems in your life first. But do not try and fix everything at once, you may not be able to handle it and may even be setting yourself for failure. Start with things that you can accomplish and for each success you will feel better and proud about yourself. Keep on going. When you gain experience fixing problems in your life then you can try to fix some of the world's problems. Think globally but start locally.

    Steven Siew
  7. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    You know, its funny, but I can't help but think that the things I went through in 2000-01 are going on now but on a mass scale and it's 2012 instead. Back then I thought jesus was coming back. I thought the world was a mess and that jesus coming back was just a natural consequence of disorder on this world. But, jesus didn't come back. Unfortunately for some, I think nothing will happen in 2012 and all of these young people that're throwing their lives away will regret lost opportunities.

    Remember, we're only young once and each moment is unique but it passes. And for each person that thinks 2012 is the end of the world there's another that doesn't and will be happy and employed when 2013 arrives. Do you want to be that person?

    None of us knows the future. If 2012 really was the end of the world we're not supposed to know otherwise it would be on every tv station and newspaper in the world. So either it's not going to happen or we shouldn't know about it anyway.

    Live your life now! It's the only chance we have. It's the best available. Lets make this world better than it's. You know? Sure, it will never meet the expectations people have. This world DOES suck. But if it didn't suck we wouldn't need to improve it right? So there's a lot to improve. Many people know this and they're well on their way to being happy and successful. The key to being happy and contented with yourself is to find out how to improve this world and get good at it so you have a job.

    And this is coming from me. I don't even expect to be alive in year(s). I just want the best for everyone. I see that the people who strive forward and do not let their fears or their suspicions overwhelm them are the people who do well. They put one foot in front of the other. It's not that they think the world as it's is fine, it's that they realize that everything has to be done one step at a time and if you absorb it all at once it'll destroy you. They've seen the darkness too. They know already! They've found answers. I'm trying to help you.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2011
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