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I just want to escape.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NightPetals, Dec 6, 2010.

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  1. NightPetals

    NightPetals Active Member

    Hi, I'm Sandra. I am 16 years old. I just don't feel like living anymore.

    I developed symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome in ninth grade. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is known as the "invisible illness" because physicians can not detect it. My family members did not believe me and thought I was insane.

    This made me severely depressed. I dropped school and developed anorexia. At the worst of it, I fasted for 21 days. Soon, i developed a binge eating disorder, eating 6000 calories a day. When I gained weight, I would fast for another 1-7 days, then start binging again. I was surfing the internet for more than 12 hours per day.

    My family members neglected me. My mom got re-married. My step family is killing me. I have no friends. I have been sexually-harassed by men and been a target for bullying since childhood. I have horrible skin and is afraid of people looking at me.

    I just really don't see the point of living anymore. Cutting myself for now seems to relieve the stress. I just want to find a quick way to end it.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sandra I'm sorry to hear you have to cut to feel anything.. I am the same as you.. I think people are looking at me all the time and talking about me.. I isolate myself all the time because I can't talk to my sister who I live with..She just doesn't understand..Being here at the forum helps alot.. Just reading the posts and replies help..I've been suicidal since I was 13..I'm 53 now and the only time I wasn't suicidal was during the years I was smoking pot..Please don't do anything rash.. Come here and talk to someone..Take Care!!
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Sandra and so sorry you are in such pain...have you sought any treatment for how you are feeling? You do not have to do this alone...speak to your parents (if only to get access to care), your doctor, someone who can get you on a road that will be more healing...please continue to let us know how you are doing and know we do care...big hugs, J
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