It hurts. I've never felt so much pain in my life. No one knows about how I feel, except her. My ex fiancé. We were high school sweethearts. At 19, I asked her to marry me. She told me I was worthless. I was full of empty promises. She said she didn't think I would be able to provide for her. She didn't like my career path. I'm an artist. She called my talents mediocre and didn't believe I would make it in my dream school. She told me that I gained weight, (previously a college athlete). She left me and I fell into a deep depression. But auditions for the school were coming up. I got focused and worked hard. I made it in the school with a scholarship and proved her wrong. She came back when she found out about it and we started talking again. I thought it was going somewhere, but she was just toying with me. She ended up telling me she needed space. She ignored me. Ignored me for a full year. The more successful I was in school, the more depressed I became. I just wasn't good enough for her. I gained weight. 40lbs in 3 months. I can no longer fit any of my clothes. I eat a lot. I can't control it. I'm a shadow of my former self. I feel like I'm going insane. I keep having these random episodes where my heart keeps beating really fast and I have trouble breathing. She messaged me back a couple of weeks ago, but it seems like she is just taunting me. I don't know what she wants and shouldn't talk to her, but I still love her. I literally feel that talking to her will kill me. Anyways, I just want peace in my life. I'm tired of feeling this way.