I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this...but I know that I can't take the swarm of emotions inside of me much longer. I try so hard, but I feel like all I have done is dissapoint my friends and my family. I try to be a leader in my academic life but I feel the pressure getting so high I nearly don't want to do it anymore. I'm depressed, so very depressed...I just don't know where to turn anymore. I want to hurt myself sometimes but I know that won't make the situation better. I'm in a field where it is my job to help other people and right now I find myself trying to figure out where it is I belong in life. I hate feeling like I don't want to get up out of bed anymore. I feel like going crazy. I feel like I hold little worth to anyone...I have friends, but no really close friends. I never know who to turn to...who will have my back. I was thinking about just going to the hospital and telling them all I want to do is sleep, I'm anxious about everything, I cry all the time, I'm an emotional wreck and I have no idea how to fix it anymore. But I'm afraid of what the consequences will be. I don't want to get any worse. I've already been there several years ago....wishing I could just dissapear....I don't want to get there again but I don't know what to do, I just want to give up most days anymore. What can I do to make this go away? Who is there left to turn to anymore? I feel like I'm breaking faster then I can put myself together.