I just want to give up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Sep 24, 2012.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    In the last three years, I have felt so hopeless....yet I'm still here. No, I don't see this as a good thing. I don't have a job, I feel like the family scapegoat, and any little hope that comes does not last long. This year has been shit....one of the main reasons is my mother. She is so passive agressive and hypocritical. Last year, she tried to have me commited and no, i was not sucidal or threatening anyone, she did what she did, because she knew she could. I didn't get comitted, but when I needed to leave the emergency room, she refused to pick me up and told others the same as well. I had to walk over 13 miles in the dark. She is spiteful and controlling, and last month, I told her I hate her and wanted nothing to do with her. I live with my elderly aunt, and that is a pain the ass as well, but I really have no where to go.

    I'm tired of being scapegoated by relatives, hurt by life, and lost. I can't keep carrying all this guilt....I work on myself, but no one else does and that makes it even more in vain. I just find living to be too much. Sorry for taking away from anyone else's problems here....i tried to hold out on writing, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    it is ok to write to get rid of that sadness anger pain inside you I hope that someday you can move out in your own space and live without all that toxicity that surrounds you hun. Keep posting ok writing it out does help hun to decrease the sadness some.
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    look, i appreciate that you're trying to be supportive, but dammit, this isn't just about leaving this goddamn house. it's too late for things to get better and I'm tired of living. im gonna take my life soon because im tired of the pain and guilt and hopelessness.
     
  4. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    I'm tired of living, too.

    Cowardice is what keeps me from death.
     
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