I'm twenty years old and I've had depression issues for as long as I can remember. I've thought about dying since I was little too. I've always been really socially awkward and I've never had a lot of friends (if any). Actually, I know people can't stand me most of the time. I've always felt like I am stupid, especially since I started working. Lately I've felt like I'm completely worthless. A while ago when I was in training for a job I used to have someone accused me of having Aspergers syndrome. I have to be honest, I was completely horrified by the idea. I remember how the kids with disabilities were treated in high school. I see how other adults treat them too. I didn't want to believe that I could be the same as them. That people saw me the way they saw them. But now looking back, I've realized that that's pretty much how I was treated. And people do see me as an idiot. So, I did some research on it. It turns out that I fit the bill. Almost to a T. I do experience empathy, which they said a lot of people with Aspergers syndrome don't, but I don't know if I show empathy very well. Before I had always thought that my problem was the depression. I didn't realize that depression was common in people with Aspergers. I guess the reason that this bugs me is that there is no cure. I will always be someone that no one can stand. I'll always be stupid and miserable and probably alone. I feel like the only way out is to die.