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I just want to scream from anger.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Knights0715, Oct 12, 2012.

  1. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    Me and my bestfriend who I currently live with, got into a huge argument over something so stupid. She refused to talk to me. I'm the kind of person who cannot handle being told "I don't want to talk to you" repeatedly. I just can't. It makes me crazy. So the fight just got worse and worse. She says things that make me feel like she doesn't care about me and sometimes I feel like she likes to fight with me. Like she thrives off of it when it kills me inside. As the argument progressed, I got more upset, frustrated, and angry, so I punched the wall repeatedly. It was my way of releasing anger in some way because I could not hold it all inside. I teller that I'm miserable and she just kind of laughs at me. It tears me apart and I can't contain my emotions so I acted on an impulse and just punched the wall. Today instead of asking me if my hand was okay or if I'm okay, she tells me I'm crazy and I need help. That's the last thing I need to hear from my bestfriend who's supposed to be supportive and understanding instead of judging me. I'm so frustrated, I don't know what to do. It's like she doesn't care. I can cry and tell her my feelings are hurt but there is just no reaction from her. I can't handle this anymore. Any insight?
  2. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Is this a new thing or has she always been like this? If its new then something must have changed.
  3. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    It's just gotten progressively worse. We have gotten into arguments before and she has disrespected me plenty of times and she doesn't take me seriously. But this time it was just too much because instead of trying to help me when I'm miserable, she made it worse intentionally...
  4. arghh

    arghh Active Member

    It could be that she has trouble understanding your feelings. Empathizing emotions that she's never had to deal with would be pretty difficult to pull off. I'm sorry that it hurts you but perhaps she's unable to find her own footing on how to best handle your needs right now. Maybe you should try to discuss things more calmly when things have settled down, just to make sure she understands how much her actions affect you...but quite honestly. It sounds like she's at the end of her limit unless some real communication reconnects you with her.
  5. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    Thank you, that was really helpful. I actually just went at it with her and we were screaming at each other at the top of ours lungs. We have both chosen to "get over" the argument and she says she understands me, but I know she doesn't. Things are pretty tense right now so I'm just going to wait until every thing's okay again to make sure I communicate my feelings effectively. Thank you so much for your help.
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    One reason for this of conflict is that you said you both live together, so even the best of friends tend to get at each other when you are in an enclosed environment for a length of time. Excuse me for saying, but I just do not understand why people get so emotional in an argument at all. You always do say the things that are personal and hurtful in fights that you always end up regretting later, but something an old friend told me was that when you find yourself in a situation like that, it is almost impossible for a fight to escalate when you do not succumb to the words of the other person and talk in your normal voice to them, however much they are yelling or screaming. After all, could you really see yourself continually yelling at someone when all they do is respond without yelling back? Quite difficult and even if someone will not let go of an argument, what reason is there to get so worked up about what they say, when everything said really is only in the heat of the moment?
  7. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    You're right. I appreciate the words of wisdom. It just that she knows how to get under my skin so well, so it bothers me. I forget that at the end of the day she's still my bestfriend and that she doesn't truly mean all of the hurtful things she says to me (at least I hope not). We still aren't speaking and I don't think we will be for awhile, but I've come to accept it and I'm just going to let things be. Thank you so much, you really helped me out.
  8. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I am glad to hear that while things are at a stand still, you managed to get some comfort and knowledge that it all is only temporary and will be back to normal sooner or later. No need to thank me, I only tried to put things into perspective a little, you did all of the work yourself.

    dango dango ^^
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hiya, I can totally relate. Best advice I could give you is try and have a heart to heart with her and explain how her behaviour is upsetting you so much. Or if its really bad, try and see a counsellor who you can talk to :hug:
  10. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    Thank you, I will try that. And I really appreciate the emoji. It's really cute :)

    Btw, I have a question. How do I know when someone has replied back to me on a post? I'm new to the website and I don't know how it works yet :/
  11. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    The way that I find out is that I go to my profile and then click, in the left tool bar on the screen, where it says "Find latest posts" and "Find latest started threads" , click them (depending on whichever is relevant) and find out that way. Normally a reply will have the username of the last to reply and the number of reply posts to said thread which tells you.
    Of course, there could be a much simpler way, but that is how I normally check.

    (I am the resident powerpuff lover on this site ^^)
  12. Knights0715

    Knights0715 Member

    haha thank you so much!