I just want to start again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LetItGo, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    A reset button would be pretty cool...

    What's up?

  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Things with girlfriend have come undone. Apparently...

    - she loves me
    - wants me in her life
    - would miss me terribly if i left (we live together)

    BUT...going on what she is saying..and we havent been intimate in a while, and other things..

    - she isnt "in love" with me anymore. She hasnt said as much, but thats the feeling im getting.

    We have agreed to stop calling ourselves "partners" officially. Its pretty obvious its over :sad:

    It fucking sux :sad: I really wanted this to work out, I really care about her, give her heaps of affection, probably too much LOL im really not your TYPE A guy...Im more into the hugging and kissing than she is, which is probably opposite of most hetro relationships. But ya generalization

    Anywayz im drinking today, she bought some beer, which was nice. Beer makes me happy, sad as that sounds, I realize just how much I freaking miss it.

    When i say "I want to start again". What im saying is I just want someone that really loves me and wants to be with me, and likes the affection. Im not sure i can go back to singledom without going crazy, but I think thats exactly what is going to happen soon as I get enough money to move out.

    Anyone thx James for your reply. Hope your having a fine Christmas.

    Right now im just gonna drink what I have left, and hopefully tommorow I can get some more money to really get stuck into it. I think I need it tbh.

    :smile: :sad: :smile:
  4. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    So your gonna get more beers, get trashed, end up all emotional, angry, and then maybe end up arguing etc etc ya get the picture ....

    Why dont you try sitting down with her, booze free !!!, and get to the real nitty gritty of whatever the problem is. Sounds to me like you may be jumping the gun without actually knowing for sure what the problem is. COMMUNICATION is the most important thing that keeps a relationship going ... you should sort things now before they really are over cos she may think you dont give a shit.

    Hope you can work things out.
  5. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    We've talked about it several times. She says she doesnt really know how she feels. But her actions speak louder than words. The last few weeks really tell me she is no longer interested in our relationship, even though she can't come out and say that.

    A lot has changed in 12 months. Now she has the prospect of university and getting into her music more...two things she never contemplated when we first got together due to her anxiety and health problems. Both of those things are largely under control, and now all her thoughts are directed towards study and her music. I really think she just wants us to be close friends, she is not prepaid to commit to a "relationship" and all that entails because she simply wont have time. She isnt interested in intimacy either, hasnt been for a while now. We both thought its cause she wasnt feeling well, but it goes further than that...

    She knows I want it work, but I cant be in a relationship without passion, and thats something that we no longer have.

    Right now I just wish I had the money to move out and see if distance makes the heart grow fonder. If it doesnt, at least I can start again, IF i can start again, this whole thing is really starting to kill me now. I wont find someone like her again.
  6. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Getting out of a relationship is tough...especially when you don't particularly want that relationship to end. It sounds like it's been a tough couple of weeks. Are you heading to a Uni?
  7. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Well Im sorry to read that, I really am :sad: I guess she is trying to spare your feelings etc with not coming straight out with it but it sounds like your assumption is correct and it is time to move on. It sounds like she is trying to make a go of her life which is great for her especially as you say she had her own troubles, so stay friends and be happy for her even though you cant be with her in the way you want to be. Ya never know what the future holds and you may even get back together as it just sounds like she needs some space to find herself.

    In the meantime, dust yourself off and get out there and maybe do a bit of soul searching of your own ... you will have a hard time hooking up with anyone else if your miserable :smile:
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: MJ. I'm sorry to hear all that. If you need a shoulder to cry on..you know where to find me :hug:
  9. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I just wish i had somewhere to go. I should be going to Uni as well, and I was reliant on this place being available for me to stay...and it still is, but I can imagine it getting pretty uncomfortable in the future. Ive already enrolled so I cant defer...I will need to see about putting it off for 6 months or try and continue with it. Honestly, the only real hope I have of meeting someone else is at Uni, so it would be a step forward and backwards at the same time...if you get what im saying.

    I thought we would get married not so long ago. Just goes to show how quickly things change. That would have been a big mistake it seems. I still love her. Im still attracted to her in a big way. I really need to get out of this house sooner rather than later.
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    sometimes things dont work hun. sometimes loving someone just isn't enough. i'm really sorry things aren't working out with K. i'd hoped they would. maybe just giving her space and giving her time will help things out, you never know. BUT, know that if it doesn't work out it's not the end of things. You're a nice guy who deserves happiness and in this case it just might be in other places.

    Just think of it like this...a year to two years ago look where you were and look how far you've come. There is no reason to take steps back but to move forward and realize that you can do anything. Back then you never thought you could do any of what you've done now. Remember that hun

    Ill be around possibly on mobile and tonight. Take care hun.
  11. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Take that as your silver lining ... People break up all the time for one thing or the other thankfully you dont have the hassle of divorce and children and can both stay amicable, which is great, there is nothing worse than loving and sharing time with someone and then splitting and being bitter and twisted.

    Im sure that sounds like your solution to move out as soon as ... but dont rush into something just because you feel you have to. You also deserve consideration and something will come up. Check out the uni board for house shares / accommodation, certainly a starting point.

    Good luck to you and remember, to be able to walk away with dignity is a very endearing quality !! take care :smile: