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I just wish I could let go.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by varek, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    if I were to die, the people close to me would mourn for maybe a week and then move on. I haven't really made enough of an impact in any person's life to warrant leaving a dent. Lord knows I want to. I try to help people, but I can't, we just talk. Nobody gets better. And shit, if they did, they wouldn't need me any more. It's more procrastination than anything else.

    I'm fast coming to the conclusion that the only help is in death. I just wish I could let go.

    Sorry if you wasted your time reading this. I just wanted to put it in writing.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    no death does not leave the ones behind suffering for only a week no sucide of a friend of even a person not so close affects one for life. the pain i feel after my bro suicide will never leave me it eats away itis like a cancer no your death will cause more pain for others you healing will help them as well get help okay bring healing and peace to all around you get help it is out there call gp call therapist but get it okay take care
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Reading your post wasn't a waste of time. Violet's right though; the pain of losing someone to suicide doesn't just go away in a week, or a month. It lingers, and it seems like it's always there, along with all the regrets.
  4. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    Maybe you don't understand how little I've done.

    Sorry to everyone that read this and cared about it, I didn't mean to hurt you.
  5. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    When one of my colleagues hanged himself, the pain never left..
    We only knew each other for a few months but he was an inspiration to me..The kindest, gentlest person I had ever met & in his hour of need, he couldn't or wouldn't reach out and let me share his load..
    His passing will never leave me..or all the others he befriended, loved or who were touched by his presence..

    So a person's passing can affect those they leave behind forever, no matter how long you have known them..He made such an impact that just recalling him makes me weep..Somewhere out there someone feels the same way about you..
  6. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that :( Didn't mean to cause any offence by it. I guess you're right.

    There's no good way to say this, so I'm just gonna say it: I guess I'm just needy. I kinda want someone to be there all the time for me. Like friends. Why is that too much to ask? Don't I deserve it? I don't want pity or anything, I just want real people to be there.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I doubt you offended anyone, there was nothing offensivea bout your posts.

    And you're not asking for too much. It's okay to want, and to need, someone to be there. You do deserve that.
  8. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I'll be there for you, dude. Day or night

  9. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    What you percieve as little might be more than you think.