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I just wish....

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#1
I wish people told me I'm a fucking idiot at times. That they didn't have this layer of social boundaries to hold them back.

I wish people told me to stop talking at times if they could go past the pretense of trying to seem respectful and listen.

I wish people were honest with me. Upfront. Said "hey I don't really like you. You're narcissistic and demand too much attention"

I wish people called me a loser instead of saying hi to me when I pass them by on the street.

I wish people stopped pretending. I just wish I could read people. Be hated or loved. But atleast know what the hell they're thinking about me so I don't get caught up in my own circular negative spiraling thoughts.

I wish...wish, wish, wish, that's all I do. I can keep cleaning that gross lamp but I'm pretty sure no genie is gonna jump out of it.
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#2
It is possible to be upfront and honest with others without being rude. If you want honesty, give honesty, if you want truth, give love. People use posturing to impress others and belie the fear of being themselves. Creating an atmosphere of calm without judgment will help others open up to their real feelings.
 

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#3
It is possible to be upfront and honest with others without being rude. If you want honesty, give honesty, if you want truth, give love. People use posturing to impress others and belie the fear of being themselves. Creating an atmosphere of calm without judgment will help others open up to their real feelings.
I get what you're saying. I do. But I'm also socially akward in a way that's hard to point out. I've seen friends disappear one by one. Talked in chatrooms and seen people ignore me one by one because I'm too verbose. I just wish someone came out and told me upfront "hey dude, you're kind of annoying lately. Tone it down okay?"

But no one does. They just stop picking up the fun, go quiet when I'm around. It's probably just me thinking it is like that and it really isn't. But my zero circle of friends and weird encounters in chatrooms tell me differently.

No one is there to tell me how to behave. I can fuck up on my own without advice. I just wish someone said "hey mate, take it easy. You're pretty dumb and cringy to listen to right now. Why not take a break?" But no one does. I just drift apart like I do with my friends. It's inevitable apparently.
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#4
I don't find you awkward or verbose at all. Your post is quiet good and relevant. You may have the wrong impression of yourself. Try browsing through the links in my signature to see if there is something you like. Love
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
I wish people told me I'm a fucking idiot at times
I wish people were honest with me. Upfront. Said "hey I don't really like you. You're narcissistic and demand too much attention"
I wish people called me a loser instead of saying hi to me when I pass them by on the street.

I wish people stopped pretending. I just wish I could read people. Be hated or loved. But atleast know what the hell they're thinking about me so I don't get caught up in my own circular negative spiraling thoughts.
But the things you think people are secretly thinking about you, hiding their real bad feelings behind a mask or false pretence of friendliness, ARE all your own thoughts or imaginations! You are thinking these bad things about yourself.

You may judge yourself a failure, a loser, etc by some standard or other - who isnt?- but do these define who you are, or is there more to you than this limited self image reflects?
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
But the things you think people are secretly thinking about you, hiding their real bad feelings behind a mask or false pretence of friendliness, ARE all your own thoughts or imaginations! You are thinking these bad things about yourself.

You may judge yourself a failure, a loser, etc by some standard or other - who isnt?- but do these define who you are, or is there more to you than this limited self image reflects?
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#7
I doubt people think the things you assume they do. It's the reflection of your own insecurities, but people don't say these things because they are not true.

Instead you should take things for what they truly are : a person saying hi to you just wants to be polite, or nice, or caring with you. This is logic, unclouded, that's it. People respect you because you deserve respect, period.

Perhaps you wish people treated you as if you were a bad person so you could validate that you are, so you could have a justification for all the things wrong in your life? It's easier to accept that we're a bad person and can't change, than to accept that we're a good person who makes mistakes sometimes, but can do better. An imperfect good person, like everyone else. Just a thought, perhaps I'm wrong.
 

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#8
But the things you think people are secretly thinking about you, hiding their real bad feelings behind a mask or false pretence of friendliness, ARE all your own thoughts or imaginations! You are thinking these bad things about yourself.

You may judge yourself a failure, a loser, etc by some standard or other - who isnt?- but do these define who you are, or is there more to you than this limited self image reflects?
I don't necessarily agree with that. I get what you're saying and it's a good point. But I think social norms to an extent hinder people in being totally honest. No one dares tell me I'm a subpar human because it reflects badly on them to say so. Not because they don't think it but because societal norm dictates that kind of truthful honest statements are bad behavior. I know people say all sorts of bad things about their friends when they aren't listening because I've done that too and seen plenty of other people do so.

And I don't dislike my social circle for once in a while saying that about me when I'm not around. Because I've done that too. Hell, I can barely have a conversation with my sis any longer where we don't discuss some of the things we don't like about our mom but would never tell her to her face.

I assume everyone holds a variety of negative and positive emotions and impressions of most people. But there's this societal agreement that you should ever only mention that good ones because you don't wanna engage in conflict. So we excuse or overlook bad behavior, people like me who sometimes need to be told to get a fu****g grip. People are so caught up in the idea of disliking certain traits in people makes them dislike the person overall. We are surely more complicated than that.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#9
If someone close smells bad, has something stuck between their teeth or a stain on the back of their shirt- you should tell them. If they are wrong or inefficient, you should also tell them. If you care about them, that is.
 

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