i just..

[John6491]

want to die.. im tired of the pain and loneliness... i dont want to feel either of them anymore... i want to just go to the park and shoot myself.... it sounds so easy but i still cant fucking do it... what the fuck is wrong with me?

 

[meagainstme]

please dont
keep holding on. keep fighting.
i know how hard it is, but stay strong and at the end of it all you will be so much happier.

let the suicidal thoughts calm down.
distract yourself

:hug: thinking of you

 

[Spearmint]

Nothing is wrong with you for not wanting to commit suicide John. :hug:

I know you feel bad about what happened earlier, but you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[John6491]

i feel like i did though... i am tired of doing shit then have it just come right back at me... i just want to die... it would make everything for me so much better....

 

[Spearmint]

But listen to me.

You did not do anything wrong hon, you told him how you felt, about how he'd been treating you. I know you feel bad because he's your dad, believe me, I know you feel bad, but you shouldn't.

It wouldn't make it better for any of your friends, or your family.

 

[Syd]

Part of you wants to die, and part of you wants to live. I went through the same period in my life at one time. I don't know how I got through it, even to this day. It's nothing short of a miracle that I'm still alive. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I know all too well that it's something one must suffer through and overcome of their own accord. If there are any friends you can spend time with, now is the time. I ended up doing a lot of drugs to get my mind off the depression, things could've turned out much worse for me. I hope you have a best friend to help you during this time, I know how much that can help.

 

[John6491]

i know it wont be better for anyone... but it would make it so i dont feel horrible about everything i say/do...

 

[Spearmint]

You wouldn't feel horrible anymore, because you wouldn't be here at all....

Please, John, just hold on...

 

[John6491]

exactly... i wouldn't be here... and im trying to hold onto but i have nothing to hold onto right now...

 

[gentlelady]

Hold on for you John. You are what it is worth holding on for. I know things aren't good for you in so many ways. Nobody can predict how things will be later, but maybe they will change for the better. There are times we all hit rock bottom and feel there is no way to climb back up. Don't lose sight of the sky. It waits for you to reach up and grab it, no matter how long it takes. We are reaching our hands down to help you climb up John. Let us help in whatever ways we can. Take care. :hug:

 

[John6491]

im trying but i cant think of anything about me i would actually want to hold on to... right now all im holding onto is pain... nothing else.. i really dont want to hold onto this pain.. i know i might now making sense but i dont really care... i really dont know how i fell this far into wanting to kill myself...

no one around me really wants me around.. friend use me because i have money... others wouldn't give a shit if i died... great friends huh? fuck im going to shut up for now

 

[Spearmint]

Couldn't have said it any better gentle.

 

[1up]

its not worth dying man..so u say ur friends use u for ur money? so what man..those aren't called friends... just find new ones. Friends are replaceable but you're not. Money isn't shit man, just focus on hobbies or anything that makes u happy, i know theres got to be at least one thing you enjoy doing everyday and how much ass would it suck if you wouldn't be able to do it anymore?

i was at a point of committing suicide once, but i thought to myself "what the fuck am i doing? how many chicks out there would i not be able to bang if i was dead? what if i win the lottery tommorow? i can't let the ones who truly love man cry at my funeral because they couldn't help me so i gotta help myself first" so i flushed the pills down the toilet and said fuck it man... and live another day.

I looked at myself in the mirror and said yea i'm skinny..so i set out a goal to get bigger and stronger by eating big and lifting.

my grades look like elephant shit...so i was like ok i'll study

my game with the ladies is horrible... so i was like ok maybe i'll say hi to that chick i always see at the library


so yea man...i bet theres a whole lot of questions that you want answered . or theres something you want to improve yourself with in life.. and just by letting that go.. its not worth it because you'll never know

i know i'd be pissed if i did go through with it..because i'd never be able to do what i do now.

so yea man just keep your head up.. set out some life goals (short or long term) and just live another day

 

[lilyao]

the fact that you say "i still cant do it" means you still wanna live for some reason, if you wanted to die right away you would have done it. thats what i think , and im sure killing yourself is not the solution for your problems, if you need to talk you can pm me anytime or contacte me in [email protected] or [email protected]

hold on! you can do it