I just...

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Tnecniv

Well-Known Member
#1
I just felt like telling someone.. I have tried multiple times in the past to kill myself... and now... I no longer care.... I have given up everything... I don't see the point of even trying to get better.... my angst have gone sky-high, but my depressions gone... I don't see the point in the whole thing. I see faceless,nameless people who isn't there... watching me... I just feel the urge to end it all... but I also in a way can't call it "suicidal" I'm more like "I quit" or "I'm leaving cause I don't see the point"... I am afraid all the time, I get scared by even my closest friends... even my closest friend, whom I love and trust over everything in this world, I feel is out to get me... and I'm also afraid that anything is going to hurt my friends... I don't even feel safe eating food because of my fear of poisoning... pathetic I know.. and the reason i still eat is that I take the angst and tell myself "at least I die that way"... I'm such a coward... I want to commit suicide because I'm a coward.. I just can't handle the angst.. It's to suffocating... I wanna go... I'm tired and don't see the point anymore...
 

HOW

Well-Known Member
#2
Anxiety is horrible to live with, I know what it feels like. Try to get all your energy together and see a therapist/doc. Did you try talking to one of your friends about your anxiety or one of your family members? I know it hard, because they won't understand what it feels like to live with it but talking to someone will help releave some of the pain.
 

Starlite

Senior Member
#3
I just felt like telling someone.. I have tried multiple times in the past to kill myself... and now... I no longer care.... I have given up everything... I don't see the point of even trying to get better.... my angst have gone sky-high, but my depressions gone... I don't see the point in the whole thing. I see faceless,nameless people who isn't there... watching me... I just feel the urge to end it all... but I also in a way can't call it "suicidal" I'm more like "I quit" or "I'm leaving cause I don't see the point"... I am afraid all the time, I get scared by even my closest friends... even my closest friend, whom I love and trust over everything in this world, I feel is out to get me... and I'm also afraid that anything is going to hurt my friends... I don't even feel safe eating food because of my fear of poisoning... pathetic I know.. and the reason i still eat is that I take the angst and tell myself "at least I die that way"... I'm such a coward... I want to commit suicide because I'm a coward.. I just can't handle the angst.. It's to suffocating... I wanna go... I'm tired and don't see the point anymore...
Hi Tnecniv, keep posting to us and talking to us! It is sometimes so hard to reach out and I am glad you have reached out to us. If you need to talk , please don't hesitate to pm me, my box is always open.
 

Tnecniv

Well-Known Member
#4
I DO see a therapist, I have for seven or eight months now, and I have talked to my friends very much.... I am just so tired and see no meaning in living... I'm just so scared..
 
#5
hun all what you just said sounds alot like forms of OCD and depression, have you got a therapist/psycologist/doctor? please tallk to them.
i understand you WANT to die. i can completely understand that, but that is not how we're supposed to be. please please talk to anyone that can help :hug:
 

Tnecniv

Well-Known Member
#6
well, I dunno.... I always talk to people about it... but It never gets better... and now I'm just tired, but I guess your right... I SHOULD try to talk to somebody... but no one help me to feel OK, but I have to admit that I hadn't been sitting here if it weren't for my friends and SF's support... but now I got to a point were my friends aren't able to help me anymore...
 
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