I just felt like telling someone.. I have tried multiple times in the past to kill myself... and now... I no longer care.... I have given up everything... I don't see the point of even trying to get better.... my angst have gone sky-high, but my depressions gone... I don't see the point in the whole thing. I see faceless,nameless people who isn't there... watching me... I just feel the urge to end it all... but I also in a way can't call it "suicidal" I'm more like "I quit" or "I'm leaving cause I don't see the point"... I am afraid all the time, I get scared by even my closest friends... even my closest friend, whom I love and trust over everything in this world, I feel is out to get me... and I'm also afraid that anything is going to hurt my friends... I don't even feel safe eating food because of my fear of poisoning... pathetic I know.. and the reason i still eat is that I take the angst and tell myself "at least I die that way"... I'm such a coward... I want to commit suicide because I'm a coward.. I just can't handle the angst.. It's to suffocating... I wanna go... I'm tired and don't see the point anymore...