I just...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tnecniv, Feb 8, 2009.

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  1. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I just felt like telling someone.. I have tried multiple times in the past to kill myself... and now... I no longer care.... I have given up everything... I don't see the point of even trying to get better.... my angst have gone sky-high, but my depressions gone... I don't see the point in the whole thing. I see faceless,nameless people who isn't there... watching me... I just feel the urge to end it all... but I also in a way can't call it "suicidal" I'm more like "I quit" or "I'm leaving cause I don't see the point"... I am afraid all the time, I get scared by even my closest friends... even my closest friend, whom I love and trust over everything in this world, I feel is out to get me... and I'm also afraid that anything is going to hurt my friends... I don't even feel safe eating food because of my fear of poisoning... pathetic I know.. and the reason i still eat is that I take the angst and tell myself "at least I die that way"... I'm such a coward... I want to commit suicide because I'm a coward.. I just can't handle the angst.. It's to suffocating... I wanna go... I'm tired and don't see the point anymore...
     
  2. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Anxiety is horrible to live with, I know what it feels like. Try to get all your energy together and see a therapist/doc. Did you try talking to one of your friends about your anxiety or one of your family members? I know it hard, because they won't understand what it feels like to live with it but talking to someone will help releave some of the pain.
     
  3. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hi Tnecniv, keep posting to us and talking to us! It is sometimes so hard to reach out and I am glad you have reached out to us. If you need to talk , please don't hesitate to pm me, my box is always open.
     
  4. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    I DO see a therapist, I have for seven or eight months now, and I have talked to my friends very much.... I am just so tired and see no meaning in living... I'm just so scared..
     
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    hun all what you just said sounds alot like forms of OCD and depression, have you got a therapist/psycologist/doctor? please tallk to them.
    i understand you WANT to die. i can completely understand that, but that is not how we're supposed to be. please please talk to anyone that can help :hug:
     
  6. Tnecniv

    Tnecniv Well-Known Member

    well, I dunno.... I always talk to people about it... but It never gets better... and now I'm just tired, but I guess your right... I SHOULD try to talk to somebody... but no one help me to feel OK, but I have to admit that I hadn't been sitting here if it weren't for my friends and SF's support... but now I got to a point were my friends aren't able to help me anymore...
     
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