I keep finding ways.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Archon, Aug 5, 2010.

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  1. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    About 2 weeks ago i stole a pocket knife from a friend. I keep using it, my parents locked up all the other knifes away, i keep finding ways, Paperclips, butter knifes, nails, finger nails and forks. I can't stop.

    I feel like i should give the pocket knife back, but i don't want to, i love it too much. It's so perfect and covered with my blood.
     
  2. dark&lone

    dark&lone Well-Known Member

    I can indetify, because no matter how many times Ive had things taken and hidden from me, there is always ways to self harm regardless. I was locked on a pyschriatric unit for 8 days and I still managed to self harm, and all the hospitilizations Ive had I can still self harm and I apparently baffle people about how I do it
    I hope this helps in some way of not feeling alone, maybe try talking to someone, about why you want to do it, as well as alternative ways how you do it. It might help

    PM me if you would like a chat x

    Zoe
     
  3. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    I know how you feel, too. I kept a broken piece of glass at work under my keyboard for years. I should have gotten rid of it, but even when i wasn't using it, I couldn't get rid of it.

    I always find a way, even with nothing. I can use my own body if I want. There is no way to stop us if we're determined.

    I agree, try to find somebody to talk to. It does help. Or, try to channel it to something else. It doesn't feel as great, but it's better. Like tearing paper or throwing eggs at a tree or hitting a pillow or crushing crayons. That's what I've had to learn. I have a signed contract with my pdoc, so I have to call if I feel like I'm going to harm and that in itself has been effective...
     
  4. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    If you're interested in stopping just tell yourself you're going to get AIDS from it someday. It's definitely put me off using random objects I find on the street.
     
  5. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    Yeah, unfortunatley i don't care about aids, ect. A blade is a blade, i found a pin today, from my dad's office. It's like oppertunities are trying to find me.
     
  6. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be? Besides death. Perhaps you can try and find a way to do things that will achieve what you want in your life, instead of cutting yourself.

    I used to cut myself because I wanted a girl to know how much she had hurt me. But then I had to change and find other ways to get her attention once she realised that unless she was willing to go out with me there wasn't much else she could do to change the way I felt about wanting to harm myself. I guess sometimes asking for love is too much compared to wanting to save someone.

    But anyway, once I realised that wasn't going to work anymore I stopped cutting myself because we humans learn to adapt, it's kind of like evolution, if a fish comes out of water and realises it can't survive as a fish anymore it'll start learning how to live on land.

    I don't really know where I'm going with this as I'm watching a movie at the same time as I write this but think about what it is you want. And maybe share it with us and we can help you come up with ideas as to what you can do instead of cutting yourself? That's if you want to stop anyway.
     
  7. largelady

    largelady New Member

    I really understand what you are saying just come out of hospital if you want to you will find a way but please think of another way to I do art as a way of expressing self harm it helps loads try it.

    Largelady
     
  8. Archon

    Archon Well-Known Member

    Cutting is sooo adictive though, and without it i'd probably be stabbing other people, i hurt myself by hurting others alot of the time.
     
  9. dark&lone

    dark&lone Well-Known Member

    heya

    I hope that you do find that one day when you dont have to self harm. I understand how addictive and how easy it is to resort to it, because I feel like you do when you say if you you dont do it to yourself, you would end up stabbing other people. I feel like that, my head tells me its better me hurting myself than hurting someone else, and if I keep it secret its even better, because I definetly wouldn't be hurting anyone else.

    However I havent selfharmed in 4 days, and it ain't easy however I am determined to just get to a week, see if I can get to that. I am not saying that I am never going to do it again, because at this precise moment thats feels and is impossible however I know that I dont have to do it today, and I hope that you can get to that point. I cant make you stop, nor can I make you think differently, heck I wish I could make myself feel different, but I am hear to listen and to speak to if you wish .

    Take care and look after

    Zoe x
     
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