I keep getting the same advice and it doesn't help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by yosemite, May 28, 2011.

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  1. yosemite

    yosemite New Member

    I try to talk to people about my problems and most of the time, I can't be totally honest with them. I never let on what's really going on because I don't want others to get depressed about me. My family knows what's going on with me but I still can't be honest and always end up assuring them that I'm fine but I'm not. I lie to them all the time.

    I always think about suicide but never actually do anything. I've called hotlines and it seems like all their advice just goes right through me. They try to reassure me that things will get better but they never do. I don't have any friends to talk to about this. People try to be friendly with me and I always want to make friends with them but I end up making a terrible impression because I'm depressed.

    I always end up in this cycle where I manage to cheer myself up a little, usually by someone[someone I don't know personally] trying to cheer me up or by watching a funny movie or something, to where I can be in a decent mood. Then I go out and try to do anything like find a decent job or try to talk to people but I fail at it and end up feeling like killing myself again.

    I know I should try to get professional help, even though I can't afford it, but every time I think about it, I can't even muster the motivation to pick up a phone.

    I feel like there's no way out for me.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sometimes it's not enough to try and "tough it out" on your own
    you need other people
    if you have depression it's very treatable (and btw, you sound like you do)
    it's often caused by a chemical imbalance. you can have all the willpower in the world but it won't be enough to make you feel better. you will need anti depressants.
    therapy can help to. you will learn new coping skills, as well as things like keeping a mood journal to identify triggers and scheduling to keep yourself busy.
    i think it's time to seek out some extra help. it will be hard but so worth it in the end. you don't have to keep feeling this bad
    if you want some ideas on how to talk to your doc just ask me. i did it and although it was a really hard conversation to have it turned out fine.
  3. panoply

    panoply Banned Member

    You're too intelligent. No, seriously.

    "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

    Hemingway said that. Intelligent people tend to blatantly disregard the advice of others, or when they do take it into consideration, have the unfortunate tendency to see a "bigger picture" that might not be as bright as that which the would-be-adviser is painting. I know that when I am truly upset I'm utterly inconsolable, and it sort of irks me when people claim they're depressed and/or suicidal but simply hop out of it when given a pat on the back.

    Knowing this, there's no advice I can give you other than: don't seek advice. Seek company. Seek friendship. Seek others who can sympathize. The bottom line is that your reality is what you make it, and for particularly bright individuals, the advice of others runs like water on rock. It sounds hackneyed, but that's just how it is.

    Welcome to the forum, at any rate. PM me at any time.
  4. yosemite

    yosemite New Member

    thanks guys. I actually haven't been to the doctor because I don't have one. I haven't been to the hospital for 15 years because I've always been pretty healthy. Depression started setting in about 2 years ago. I don't even know how to begin looking for a doctor.

    I really want to find people, like a support group around here, but I don't think there are any. As for the people I meet in daily life, I would like to make friends with everyone but I always make a horrible impression and I don't know how to fix that.
    I can't even hold a simple coversation most of the time.
  5. panoply

    panoply Banned Member

    How old are you, Yos? I see you live in Riverside, I live practically in the city right over the county line.

    As for looking for a doctor, there are a lot of free clinics in the area, though I'm not sure how they work with depression.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2011
  6. yosemite

    yosemite New Member

    I'm 29. I have insurance so I could get a real doctor, I just don't know where to look. I have been on my insurance's website but they make it hard to find any information on how to do anything.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Where abt do you live there may be someone on here that live in that area that can help you find a doctor Here in Canada you can dial 1800 O Canada and t hey will have all the information you need on where nearest doctor is and a waiting list of doctors who are recieving pt. Maybe go on line and type in your area and see if there is a doctors list there.
  8. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    You have to learn ways to help yourself, all the advice in the world won't help unless you are receptive to it.
  9. yosemite

    yosemite New Member

    I don't understand, how do I learn new ways to help myself? l have no idea where to begin.
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    When you get a councillor or a therapist they will teach you new ways to help yourself. Also you can go online and look up different ways to help you manage some of your symptoms. I think the first step is to get a doctor Look online and see what doctors are in your area and go from there hugs or call the hospital nearest you they will have a list of doctors who are accepting pt.
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