every evening i think tonight is when i jump. sit stare out of the window. then fall asleep. every morning i wake up and want the evening to come so i can finally jump. i can't take it anymore. i am afraid it's not high enougth. i keep wishing to die. i hate it so much i watch horror movies and wish the monsters were real and will come and kill me. these movies used to make me afraid of the dark but not anymore. i welcome what is out there. i want it to come and kill me.