So here's the story, I killed my friend. Lets take it back a few hours. I receved my disabality check, and me and my friend went and <Mod Edit, *music* , Methods>I woke up in the hosptal and my friend was dead, because we wanted a stupid high. I am already bipolar, and have PTSD from Iraq. I can't think postive when everything around me is so negative, it feels if I am on the edge of a cliff and one more thing will push me off. what the hell do I say to his parents? I killed your son, the only person I could tell my stupid problems too. <Mod Edit; *music*, Methods> thinking that would do the job but just woke up the next day sick. I seen most of my friends die in Iraq thoes images are burned in my head. It feels like history keeps repeteing itself. Dogs eating children soldiers be watching just chilling. people you killed at the time I keep seeing there faces in my mind. A few years ago around 1988-1995 I was abused by my heroine addicted mother. Then went from foster home to foster home. I need a friend I can call a friend. I feel so alone and lost, right now. I don'tt want to relapse and cut again, but thats all I keep thinking about. O yea my mother died of cancer when I was in iraq, I missed the funeral. I want to die.