I just knew this would happen, I knew it would come back again, I knew I would spiral out of control again. Here it is! I went to bed feeling very sad about my brother and woke up wanting to kill myself again :sad: I hate this. Five months with only a minor blip here and there and, I really, really thought/hoped I had cracked it, come out the other side. I am actually surprised that I feel this bad again. What the hell is the point if it's going to come back everytime something sad/bad happens? I give up, I'm soooo disappointed with myself :sad: I am sooo damn angry today, I was rude to every member of my family, snapped at them and ignored them all day. Now I feel guilty as hell, It's not their fault is it. I just can't be bothered with this anymore........whatever!