I have always known that how I feel and everything that has happened is my fault but having someone tell you tell you that hurts even more. I thought drs were meant to be understanding and know stuff but they dont actually have a clue. I stopped taking my tablets a while ago because I couldn't trust them, they were taking over me and just made me exhausted all of the time and I didn't go to see my CPN a couple of times because I can't trust her or any of them, I can't risk them knowing whats going on in my head. I had to go to the drs and I thought I could trust her but obviously not. After she realised that I'm not taking my meds she just said that I've brought on how I'm feeling myself :sad: so its my fault and I just keep messing everything up all of the time.