I know I can't say what I'm thinking anywhere

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by morning rush, Jul 25, 2014.

  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I know I can't say what I'm thinking anywhere where people who care can see it. Like facebook, although I so want to, but I know they will all worry, panic, say they want to help, but they are too far away, don't have the time, they tell me don't think like that, look at all the good you've had, remember the good times and they start to enumerate them, say there are worse people off than me, why are you complaining about, oh come on, it's not really like that, change your mind, all you have to do is not think about it etc...the list goes on of what people will say...

    I don't want to think of good things, I want to scream, I want to say I want to die, I want to smash my head against walls, I want to run into incoming traffic, I want lie in my bed and just do nothing. I am angry, sad, annoyed, I have no patience, I am in pain, I am tired, I can't concentrate, I can't work, I can barely think, I'm stuck there in my head, unable to move, only able to wait, wait until it's over...when is it going to be over, in two seconds, two minutes, two hours, two days, two months, two years, two decades?

    tomorrow will be better, really? how so? I've been ill for 16 years, how's that working for me?
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I would suggest that most of the people who say these things haven't the slightest clue what you're going through--thankfully, for them.
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yeah, but they like to impose their beliefs on you and that somehow what you say will help. When people hear you say I'm sad, I want to die, they instantly see it as a problem they need to fix for you. So they blurt out all kinds of responses like the ones I mentioned. And when you don't take their "advice", they get angry at you...
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It does hurt when people try to belittle how you are feeling and make a mockery out of a serious illness. F#ck them. Seriously, you don't need them around you. At least you have the outlet here to express how you are truly feeling. I feel your pain,I really do. :hug:
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    What do you want people to say or do? I used to get pretty upset about people saying useless things too - until I thought about it a little bit more and could not answer that question at all - or if I could answer it I found the answer changed every day- or even every hour - depending on my mood. As you mentioned you have been dealing with this for 16 years - you know yourself better then anybody else in the world- and you have not been able to figure out what to do to fix you or motivate you yet and it is you - how do you expect them to have answers based on a reading a message on fb or even an hour long discussion, that you have not figured out in 16 years?
    If they do not reply we say they don't care, and if they do but it is not what we want to hear (even though what we want to hear changes day by day or by the hour) we get upset with them. It is not only us that are in a no win situation - it is them also when it comes to dealing with us. The bottom line- most of the time it is in fact us and our perceptions so realizing that will at least put the focus back on what the issue is. In the mean time rather than be angry or upset they do not say what you want to hear be glad they ventured into the mine field that answering or replying at all is and maybe a little appreciative of that as well. They do not know how to fix us and our problems or what to say to make everything better- very true. Neither do we for ourselves and yet we want them to say what we want to hear even knowing telling ourselves these things for years and years has been useless. It may be less a case of they do not know what to say and more that we are not listening to what they say.
     
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    NYJmpMaster , I think maybe I didn't express myself properly. I don't expect them to fix me, I don't want them to fix me. I want to be able to talk, and just be understood. I understand people want to help in their own way. But I find people seem to think it's easy to get out of depression and other mental illnesses.

    I'm not sure why you're accusing me of wanting to hear what I want to hear and if I don't hear it I don't accept it, but that is further from the truth. I enjoy intelligent conversations a lot. I read on psychology, I listen to people's advice, but being told to get over it and I'm being a big baby is not helpful at all. Especially for someone with social phobias and anxiety. Do you think that if I could get over it, I wouldn't be here? I work hard to overcome my problems.

    But sadly I am not perfect. I'm sorry, but I found your comment harsh and judgmental. You put me in the same basket of people you appear to hate. I am saddened that this is what you think of me.

    also I think I have a right to complain of things that are being said to me and express how I fell, that is why I'm in the let it all out forum...I shouldn't have to be judged for it
     
  7. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I believe that this is what makes it most difficult for others to understand who have not gone through what we've gone through. They think they know what it's like, because they've experienced a somewhat similar feeling for a time. Like all people have. But the difference is for most, is that it didn't last--is not quite as severe--or can be related to something directly in their lives: (e.g. A death in the family; the breakup of a relationship, among other "normal" types of depression). So, this may have something to do with the challenge that they face in communicating clearly with you--& me, for that matter. We're not speaking the same language... For many, just muscling through the situation works wonders. At least, that's my best guess! Take care of yourself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 26, 2014