well i guess this is a pathetic cry for help. im evil and sick and dont deserve any compassion anymore for my behavior and what i have done but please somebody, please tell me that it is ok for me to kill myself, and that i and everybody else will be better off when i am gone. please give me some comfort here, i have always said that im too pussy to actually kill myself but ive been drinking myself to death for a long time and i finally think that now is the time to end it and that it can happen and everything will turn out ok in the end. i think (or at least i hope) people that i love had some fun times once but everything ends eventually and this - my life - will just be another ending but people continue on without me. im sorry.