I know I wont live to see old age

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by darkrider, Feb 25, 2009.

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  1. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Before my 30s maybe even 40s I know i'll take my own life, it's inevitable since i've had the same thoughts since I was 15/16. The only thing that's keeping me alive is I don't want to die in the same craphole I grew up in. Life is boring, pointless and society does nothing but annoy me. In a sick kind of way the thought I can take my own life at any time is the one thing that keeps me going, no one can take away, my escape..
     
  2. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I know that I wont live to see old age, but then again I don't really want to either. I consider myself as 'old' now...34 this march.

    It's all down here from here :sad:
     
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Ha...you young whipper snappers dont know what old is. I am 42. And yep it all went downhill pretty quick.:sad:
     
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I thought I'd make it forty nine. For someone who's lived my life that's not bad. Then one day, ten years this side of forty nine, I realized that I had prematurely cracked.

    -Scott fitzgerald.

    I always wanted to last until Thirty-three. Twenty-seven to thirty-four are the good Bohemian ages. If I can be like John Reed/Eugene O'Neill, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or Max Eastman by thirty-three I'll be happy. Afterwards...ehhh. Unless I have a family or business, I don't see much point.
     
  5. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Is it a terrible thing to not want to see old age? I just don't want to have a lifetime of misery when everyone before me is long gone :(
     
  6. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    I'm 26, opposed to others on this thread.. yes I'm young. Although I doubt I'll become much older... however, doubt still gives some hope...

    I don't like the way my life is going right now, yet I still have a little bit of hope left, that it'll turn out alright... it just takes patience. But patience is pretty much running out.

    Maybe a bit offtopic here, but too anyone who posted here, or will post... why did it go downhill? When did it go downhill? I'm just curious if either I'm just having a big amount of patience and time on my hands, or if either hoping it'll turn out, for the past 10 years is reasonable....
     
  7. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I've also been thinking about this and I'm thinking I won't even live to see 30. The main reason is because I've wasted the majority of my life doing nothing and so lack the skills and many other things people my age have, I'm so far behind, empty, boring. So I feel that since nothing happened in my early, formative years that I'm screwed for life, just like many who unfortunately have
    bad childhoods still suffer greatly many years later.

    So I feel there is no hope for me and I have to kill myself to avoid a future of nothing but pain and suffering, at least this is what my depression tells me. I have this small hope that despite so far I've done nothing, that I'm still alive there is still hope for me to maybe have a normal life still and so I shouldn't kill myself. I just wish THIS positive thought would outweigh the negative thoughts I talked about above.
     
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ok. compared to all of you, i'm ancient. chalk me up as a big 45 and counting.....and as bad as my life has been lately, i am still pissed off that i am so old - which means more than half my life gone and there was SO much i wanted (still want) to do! but not as much time left.

    ah, sometimes it all sucks. but, still, i keep hanging on, if only to see what happens down the road.......

    darkrider, i too keep suicide as my "plan B". . . it is always there. no matter how hard i battle it away- it remains and so i just let it linger...i don't have to choose it. but i can think about it.

    i hope you choose to hang on until old age - like me. . .hey, 45 ain't bad. stay here hun :hug:
     
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