I feel empty, not even sad. I am going to wait until tonight, when no one is around, then I will leave this world. It's funny, I've been doing such a good acting job no one suspects a thing. My mom actually thinks I'm going to watch the World Series with her tonight! I almost feel happy, not quite but almost. The certainty that this is my last day on earth has given me some sort of comfort. When think about ending my life tonight, I am overcome with relief. I have been so worried about how I was going to reclaim my life, how I was going to get back on the path to success after everything was taken from me. Now, I am free from that worry. It IS sad. I had so much potential. I was smart (3.8 GPA), charismatic ( almost everyone likes me) and dammit I was good at whatever I ever tried. Every job I ever had I eventually got moved up to a management position. I have played shows onstage with my band in front more than 100 people more times than I can count. I have short stories that have been published, although none ever got much attention from anyone other than family and friends. In short, once upon a time there was nothing I could not do. This is not me. This current person who hates everything and makes everyone around me miserable. I was made into this. Everything was taken from me, my car, my career, my clean record and my dignity. All of it was taken in a blink of an eye, and I had nothing to do with it. If I was not an atheist, I'd say it was an act of God the way it all went down. Forces beyond my control destroyed the life I had worked so HARD to build. I love my mom, and this will be very hard on her. But I live in a rural community, and I plan on going deep into the woods. My hope is that I will not be found, and maybe my mom and others will think I have left town. I plan on leaving a note saying just that, that I have gone to another state to start anew. I hope that will hold up, and they will never know what really happened. But if not, if I am found.... I'm sorry Mom but I had no choice left to me. I cannot continue after what happened to me. Getting beat up in jail, strip searched by guards, getting arrested in front of my new boss in front of a roomful of customers.... it's all too much. Even if I could get past the memories, the way I was treated, I still have to carry around the "felon" label, which is not something I am willing to do. If I had done the crime, maybe it would be easier to live with. But as it is, I do not deserve this, and I will NOT live with this label for the rest of my life. It ends now, before fate can hurt me more than it already has. Goodbye SF, I hope that everyone here finds the peace that is currently eluding them.