i know its coming

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by uncle buck, Jun 1, 2012.

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  1. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    Here i sit at work and I know I am gonna cave. Excited, nervous anticipation, and an eagerness to feel nothing for five minutes. Nothing, that is, except the peace that comes with. My God, if the ppl here knew what I was up to i would be ruined.

    Some man I grew into. What would my kids think of me if they knew?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not well that is what they would thing and how the can helpyou I do hope you can talk to your doctor soon okay and get some support
  3. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    I am just trying to figure out how much is too much to say when I talk to the new doc; I dont wanna face a hospital stay. But I agree I have to talk to someone, this is getting worse by the minute/hour/day.

    I ended up doing it. Washroom at work, but mostly just scratching because I was afraid of having to explain it if it went bad. That left me feeling different about it, like I had something I didn't complete. The feelings went down somewhat, but I still thought about more all day, and woke up this morning ready to go again. I know I will today again. I miss sports, at least I could plan this stuff around them and have excuses for the bruises when i did other stuff. Hard to excuse away cuts.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Glad you are thinking about what to say...I hope you say enough to get the help you need...and if it means a hospital stay, then that is what it has to be...for different reasons, struggled with these issues as well...I gave in and saved my feet (massive infections which might have caused the loss of both feet if I waited any longer)...please be safe and concern yourself with what you need first
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