I know that I'm gonna do it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Crashex94, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. Crashex94

    Crashex94 Well-Known Member

    Someday, it's just a matter of waiting for the right time. The worst part of all this is that it makes me hate my mum. I can't kill myself with her alive because she would likely kill herself too. Sometimes I just wonder "So what?" I won't see it happen, she's probably not serious anyway, she'll be fine. It's moments like this that make me realize what a disgusting human being I am. Just another reason to do it
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Whats going on that has brought you so down.. I think you love your mom more than you give yourself credit for..She may not understand you because she was brought up in a different erra where mental health issues weren't talked about.. Try finding one thing positive each day and hang onto it..Have you thought about therapy?? It really does help having someone face to face to talk to..They can teach you how to cope better..
     
  3. Crashex94

    Crashex94 Well-Known Member

    I've been doing therapy for almost a year and it has'nt helped at all in fact it may have only made things worse
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Therapy can make things worse only because it is getting you to see what is making you feel this way. It is getting you to face your demons. Talk openly with your T telling you feel like things are getting worse. Maybe time to try different therapist change is good sometimes makes you look at things at a different angle. Tell your doctor you are still having these thoughts maybe he will change your meds up too. Your mother is not going to survive if you committ suicide your mother will indeed die with you or die a very slow painful death don't say i don't know because i do. Everytime my daughter attempts a piece of me dies too. It is very painful
     
  5. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi Crashex94,

    I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I also understand how therapy can make things worse. I think it's important to remember that the therapists are well meaning and do try to help.

    My therapist I have had for ten years in what has been a turbulent time has watched me go from bad to worse. The person who has been most affected by this deterioration is my mother. Actually, it brings her to tears each time.

    I understand you need to feel safe and comfortable with your therapist and I think the recommendation of a change is worth a go. I think it's about finding the right therapist for the right person and this is something only you would feel.

    It's important I think to remember you will get better and the way you think of how your actions can affect you mother is highly admirable. It shows me more than anything that while you think you may sometimes hate her, you care about her alot.

    Take care. :smile:

    Kind regards,

    Polar
     
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