I know the time is coming, I can't take it much more.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sandy brown, Oct 21, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. sandy brown

    sandy brown Member

    I know I am going to do it. I just don't know when.
    I don't want to kill myself, but I know it is coming. I need help but cannot go to the hospital. NO ONE has any answers to this panic except do a hobby or go to the movies.
    I need a serious way for human contact or talk, not a hotline which makes it worse. I have no family or friends.
    This forum may not be the place, does anyone know anything that is not a hotline and not so restricted of topic of death? I already know how so I do not need help with how to kill myself.
    I do not want a pro-suicide place. I want to stop this hopeless feeling of life is over and the panic times when it is sending me over the edge more than once a day.

    I took the depression test and scored 100. I am not rich. I need to find a reason to live that is not GOD. I do not believe in praying.

    Does anyone else feel this way? Have you lived a long life this way? I am over 50 and depressed 30 years.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2010
  2. Enigmatic Ed

    Enigmatic Ed Well-Known Member

    cant say I have ever had it as bad as you 30 years is a long long time. but please reconsider, you have that choice. god doesnt exist, running away even for a short time (ie movies) wont help. you need positive reinforcement, only thing that worked for me. i am here to talk if you need to. pm me and you will have my fone number. it pains me you feel this way, cant guarantee I can help, but would be very grateful if you give me the chance, if only to listen. you will die at some point, so use this time if not for you but others. good luck, thinking of you.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You have a choice to get well or to stay where you are
    You need help for a psychologist to change those thoughts
    Get on anti anxeity medication it works take abt 4weeks kick in that will help your anxiety attacks
    get on meds for depression that will ease the sadness and get you thinking clearly
    YOU don't want to die YOU want to LIVE and be happy start the process by talking to a professional and getting the treatment to help you live again.
    talking here is a form of help and not isolating yourself. KEep talking okay and get yourself some help now.
  4. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Hi sandy brown, 30 years is an extremely long time in depression! No wonder you're feeling you can't take it much more! Perhaps there was something happened in your life 30 years ago to trigger your depression?!
  5. HighsandLows

    HighsandLows Active Member

    Hey sandy...30 years is a long time, but on the flip side you've made it this far. You've cracked it for 30 years. Well done, many don't make it that far. You can do a few more yet girl.


    (nearly 40 and depressed as long as I can remember)
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Sandy, welcome back to the forum. Since you don't want to call a hotline and want someone 'real' to speak to, I'd recommend therapy. Have you ever tried it? You've been suffering far too long :( It's time to speak up and get the help you need. Good luck to you. :hug:
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member


    sorry that you have felt so bad for so long.

    why is it that you can't go to the hospital?

    have you tried any kind of treatment? if not, is there a reason why?

    hope that you feel better soon! maybe we can help!
  8. Oskan

    Oskan Member

    I don't know if this will help... but I do know how irritating therapists can be, how trying those people who say "Go to church" are, and I can try to understand how awful it must be to go through thirty years of depression. It's like life's just one big black hole?
    This helps me, and so I hope it can help someone else, even though it may seem small, it amounts to so much.
    Three steps:
    1. Go outside. Really. Don't just take a step out your door, look around gloomily, and go back in. Look. Breathe. Listen. Feel. The wind on your cheeks, the leaves rustling in trees, the sky... During the 12-15 of the months, the stars are usually brightest. Check them out any time of month. And if you need to, talk. Just to the outdoors, about what weighs you down, what prompts the need to end it, spit it all out. Let it go. Do I sound too shrink-like? I'm sorry, this is just a suggestion, but as a human, I'm begging you to try this. If it's warm, take your shoes off. Scrunch sand through your toes. Step on some grass.
    Listen or play music. It doesn't matter if you don't have a musical ear, but it can help. Sign up for lessons, if you can, or just sing yourself. Sing songs you like, tunes you make up, but don't give up! Make a goal-you want to learn the themesong to a movie, etc. You want to learn all the words to that old ballad. Let it all out in the music.

    I hope it helps.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.