Today was a somewhat disappointing day at work. Work wise it was okay I guess, but socially it just sucked as usual. I watch other people talk and communicate with ease at work and I just feel like shit. There is a girl at work. She has been there for several months now. She would work in my area initially. I have never had much to say to her and I know I have made the impression that I'm some creepy weirdo. Lately, I've been thinking about her and wishing that I could talk to her more. I try to suppress these feelings because the last thing I need is to get rejected by someone at work. Well, today was the first time in months that I ended up working with her on the same line. I tried to be helpful, but a couple of times I just came off awkward. We didn't talk much though. There was another guy who is a big talker and had no problem connecting with her. In fact, a few other guys would come by our work area and converse with her. The only really time she and I conversed was when she asked me something pertaining to work and I could barely answer her. It reminded me of the other times she and I "worked together" I'm just not good at talking and I honestly hate myself for it. It gets me thinking of a friend ( I guess this person could be called that) who once said to me, " you don't know how to communicate" Maybe that person was right. I'm so sick of life and feeling like this. I don't want to go through the rest of my meaningless life socially awkward. I just feel so inept. I'm sorry for rambling like this.