i am the last person who should be posting here but i just need to. its 4:30 am and I'm just getting in. But the long drive home all I wanted to do was park my truck, shut it off and let the cold do what it should. Just sit there and freeze to death literally. I cant stand the fight i face each day fighting off these urges and thoughts. and the only reason i have for posting is that i guess i want people to know I tried really hard to stay safe. i'm not going to make the date i have intended but damn it I tried.