Wow, I hate me I cannot believe I lied to myself again. A couple of months ago I made a new years resolution to learn to socialize and all that jazz. Well it is time to break that one. I lied to myself thinking my original philosophy was wrong. Now I just do not want to move or do anything. I can barely get up to write this thread. So I am breaking that new years resolution Why do I keep lying to myself? Why did I buy into the lies I was fed? I need to just quit listening to the world. It if was meant to be then it will be. That is the way the world works. I just wrote it all off as bad luck, all those years I was sought out and bullied. All those years I spent alone, that was nature telling me. Yes You are a mistake get used to always being alone. I just have to accept it as the truth. Just because I cannot see something does not mean it is not there. I want to apologize to all of you guys who I helped over the months. Spewing that nonsense about how you can change if you try. I realize that if you get your hopes up you will just be crushed in the end. It is not your fault that nature chose to hate you. And there is nothing you can do to fight it. Fighting it would be a huge waste of energy. Once again I am sorry for lying to some of you. And I feel like shit for lying to myself and believing all that hope bullshit I was fed over the years.