I Like The Way I Look But Men Don't

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#21
@CGMAngel When? When I'm over 30? 40? 50? When I'm way past the age of being able to have kids and have a family?

This really sucks. Maybe I should conform to society's standards of beauty even if I don't like it. I'm not going anywhere looking the way I do now.
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#22
@Losing it I think I look pretty normal. I just don't understand why I'm not being approached by guys. Even online no guy ever says wow you're so pretty unless they are gay.

I say I might need to lose weight. In a lot of clothes I wear I'm a size medium. I don't know if being a small or extra small magically changes things.

Honestly I don't know what it'll take for me to be noticed or attractive to men.

Thank you giving me a little bit of confidence. I really hope what you are saying is all true. I will trust you. I just really wish other people see me the way you do.
Because right now I feel like a freak.

Unless maybe they can sense I'm mentally ill and that's the reason they're staying away from me. :(
 

Magree

SF Supporter
#23
People will see that hunni and the ones that don't well let me tell you they ain't worth the bothering about girl.......u will meet the right person who will love and want to be with you for being YOU. Fakery is translucent and can't go on forever. Be yourself and don't sell yourself short. Big (((((hugs))))) from me x
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#24
You said you were happy with the way you look. That's good, it's important as it means that you're comfortable with yourself. People who judge just by appearance are shallow and not worth it. Believe me in this as I'm speaking from past experiences. What matters is who you really are as a person. Just don't be afraid, let yourself shine and somone will shine with you.
 

Lovetolisten

Well-Known Member
#25
@Lovetolisten Guys are really judgmental. More so than women I think. I never in my life remember being told by a woman that I didn't look ok. They get the struggle.

If you're over 100 pounds you're considered fat.

If your lips, breasts or butt are small they tell you to get surgery. When you get surgery they say you are plastic.

If you wear no makeup guys complain. When you do they say it's "false advertising".

The only thing men are promoting is self esteem issues and negativity.

Personality does matter but guys don't even get past your physical appearance to get to know you. In my case anyway.

I wear makeup, dress up and color my hair to make me happy not some strange guy.
It's funny because the guys judging are considered 1 or 2's themselves. Not lookers. Not rich not successful.
In some cases no house or no car.

They should be judged for being low life assholes. It's not ok to reach out to some stranger and try to ruin their life.

I can see why you feel that way, since those are the people you're meeting.

I understand that what I say may not apply to you. My experience has been a bit different where I feel like some women have been more judgmental and harsh towards me. The guys I know wouldn't want to date someone that they felt was too thin at 100 lbs.

If the guys saying that to you aren't all that, they are just dumping their own insecurities on to you. A happy person wouldn't feel the need to openly criticize someone's looks.
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#26
@Lovetolisten I'm sure there are judgemental women out there. That's what so sad about society is you're judged heavily by what you look like.

It's frustrating being this old and not having a single person approach you.

And some people might not believe me. They might say "oh there is someone for somebody" or "it's not true NO ONE finds you attractive".
I came across a lot of people on Reddit who are like you're young. You're a girl. You absolutely have to be liked by guys because you possess those two things.

If that's true why do I feel like this. Why am I alone? Why no one ever asks me out on a date?
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#27
@Ash600 I went through 28 years without being noticed. Hell I don't even have real life friends to hang out with or talk to.

All my interactions with people and friends are online.

If there is someone else like me you can show as an example who has no one and all of a sudden is loveable surrounded by friends, a good boyfriend or girlfriend maybe I'll believe it. But right now I don't think it'll magically happen for me.
 
#28
@Losing it I think I look pretty normal. I just don't understand why I'm not being approached by guys. Even online no guy ever says wow you're so pretty unless they are gay.

I say I might need to lose weight. In a lot of clothes I wear I'm a size medium. I don't know if being a small or extra small magically changes things.

Honestly I don't know what it'll take for me to be noticed or attractive to men.

Thank you giving me a little bit of confidence. I really hope what you are saying is all true. I will trust you. I just really wish other people see me the way you do.
Because right now I feel like a freak.

Unless maybe they can sense I'm mentally ill and that's the reason they're staying away from me. :(
Everything I've said is true, you are a very attractive young lady. You have nothing to be ashamed of, its the people who won't give you chance that should be ashamed. I've really enjoyed the conversations we've had and have seen nothing unattractive about you physically or mentally. Just like nearly everyone on this site you mentality is clouded by the negativity of depression and anxiety. Don't give up KEEP GETTING TREATMENT AND STAY ON YOUR MEDICATIONS THINGS WILL GET BETTER WITH TIME. Keep associating with me and others on this site for encouragement. For someone I never met in person I consider you a BEST FRIEND! At least when no one else is interested in what's going on with me and my depression YOU DO and have offered lots of support.
 
Last edited:

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#29
@Ash600 I went through 28 years without being noticed. Hell I don't even have real life friends to hang out with or talk to.

All my interactions with people and friends are online.

If there is someone else like me you can show as an example who has no one and all of a sudden is loveable surrounded by friends, a good boyfriend or girlfriend maybe I'll believe it. But right now I don't think it'll magically happen for me.
If I were to show you someone who has no one then all of a sudden is surrounded by the love of people, would you actually believe me? Listen to what @Losing it just said. Have confidence, be yourself and and believe in yourself, as there are obviously many people here who believe in you and think a great deal of you. The reason why is probably because your true inner personality is coming through, and that is what makes someone actally attractive.
 
#31
My friend suggested the other day that I should join Tinder to meet guys but I really don't like the idea. I think it'll make me lose confidence in myself and make me feel worse. I have depression and anxiety.

I know the reason he wants me to do it is because I'm 28 going on 29 and never been in a relationship.

I honestly don't think anything is wrong with the way I look. If I had the option to get plastic surgery anywhere I wouldn't do it. Maybe there is some weight I want to lose. But that's it.

In my life experience so far guys seem to be very, very picky. Physical appearance is so important to them and they pick apart every little feature. Even when I'm not out trying to date I've had guys come on my Facebook saying things like my eyes are not attractive, nose is not slim enough. Not enough gap in the thighs, breasts not big enough, etc.

This is what I was born with. What can I do? It hurts getting picked apart. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I don't even get a chance to show a guy how I can love him. But then maybe that doesn't matter to a guy.

I feel really down thinking about it. I feel very defeated in trying to find someone anymore. I wish the media wouldn't push to everyone that you have to look like a supermodel to be beautiful or one of the Kardashians.
as a guy on tinder, I can tell you that men are not picky at all on that app, I even know some guys who don't even look at the picture.
my sister (who doesn't feel very secure about her looks either) told me that it was a great boost for her confidence, since she got a lot of matches.
please give it a try. mant people are single because they're insecure and/or are not good at flirting and stuff. that's why online dating helps a lot
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#32
@Losing it That's really sweet and your words are encouraging. Sometimes it's hard not to feel negative when you're not being noticed.

I made this post out of frustrations. I am content with how I look. But sometimes I question if my way is the right way because the way people act sometimes makes me lose self confidence.

And I made a mistake last time. I said only guys who comment positively are gay guys. Thank you for giving me a straight guy opinion.

I'm happy you reached out to me and being my first friend on this forum. I really appreciate your friendship and thank you for your patience while I fight through this.
Lots of support, love and hugs for you too!
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#33
@Ash600 I used to have a lot of confidence but over time I just gave up hope.

A lot of guys I'm approaching are the same. Even most of the guys I interact with online. I can't even tell you how many crushes I had to block on Instagram and Facebook.
It's not even safe to have crushes anymore since I wind up so hurt. If it's not my appearance I would like to know what the Hell is wrong with me. :(
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#34
@ashleyneedshope29 All my life I've been myself and either been treated like a ghost or received negative comments.

28 years of being invisible, alone, not loved, not noticed, not being told I'm attractive. Yeah that's going to hurt my self esteem.
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#35
@nico_justnico I'm confused. I thought the way Tinder works is you swipe right or left on someone's photo.

I was told dating sites is filled with bots. Being on IG and Facebook I've been accused of being a bot many times just for writing comments on Page posts so I stopped doing that. If you're a girl on social media you're just not treated like a human being by men. It sucks.
So it doesn't surprise me men think this way on dating sites or if this is actually true.

It's not fun to be accused of being a bot with no feelings. I hate how men think this way.

Being a single girl in this World sucks. For me anyway.
 

Magree

SF Supporter
#36
Hi ya hunni being a single girl isn't all that bad. There's a lot to be said for having nobody to answer too.
I'm an older woman but when I was young I was the trophy girlfriend which believe me sucks!!!! It's shallow and looking back now actually degrading.
Sometimes when ur pretty and I'm sure ur it intimidates men especially those that think the are the bees knees who wants a girlfriend that's more beautiful than they think they are.
I speak from experience sweetie.
Reading all ur replies to ur post ur obviously really really pretty have confidence in ur own being.
Live for yourself and let nobody put you down x
 
#37
@nico_justnico I'm confused. I thought the way Tinder works is you swipe right or left on someone's photo.

I was told dating sites is filled with bots. Being on IG and Facebook I've been accused of being a bot many times just for writing comments on Page posts so I stopped doing that. If you're a girl on social media you're just not treated like a human being by men. It sucks.
So it doesn't surprise me men think this way on dating sites or if this is actually true.

It's not fun to be accused of being a bot with no feelings. I hate how men think this way.

Being a single girl in this World sucks. For me anyway.
I meant tinder, not dating sites, sorry for the confusion. you swipe left or right, if the person whos picture you liked likes you two, you got a match, and you can chat to get to know him
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#38
@YZO1R I can understand how you feel. I've been on dating sites in the past, all I mostly got was either being blanked or responses from people who just wanted to pull a fast one over me. Personally, the way I see it, is that in the end, it's THEM who don't know what they're looking for so therefore they are just not worth beating yourself up over. Finding someone can happen when you least expect it. I've seen it happen on several occasions.
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#39
@Magree It is when you have dealt with loneliness for this long. :(

Even if I don't have anyone to date. Some real life friends will be nice. But people just naturally want to stay away from me.

The last group therapy I went to no one wanted to be friends. Trying to even call people would be like pulling teeth. 90% of the time they wouldn't pick up the phone and when they did they want to be off within a minute. I never met up with anyone outside of group therapy.

And don't get me started with regular people.

I don't consider myself pretty but I don't think I'm horribly ugly either.
 

YZO1R

Well-Known Member
#40
@nico_justnico Ok I'll try it. I read some of the reviews on the app store and some women said they were reported for turning guys down.

If it doesn't work at least I can say I tried. I hope I don't get reported for stupid reasons.
 

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