I don't care if this notion is entirely unreasonable or not, for I can't escape it. But, everywhere I go, I have the sense I'm being laughed at, mocked, secretly ridiculed. I've been really socially isolated, except for work these past few years. Every time I go out somewhere that feels like an alien environment, a fragment of a conversation will throw me into some sort of despondent, emotional vortex. As an example, today I was in class and as soon as I entered a few of the students laughed (of course uproarious laughter seems to be all the rage with teenagers), and the students in my class seem to have the need for laugher every 5.4 milliseconds. Anyway, later on in that same class, I heard someone say, "I know it's wrong to laugh, but I couldn't help it." I couldn't concentrate the rest of the class because I felt like I was being mocked. No matter where I go, I have this intense anxiety spurred by the ever-present realization that I don't belong. How do I go about finding/correcting the things that are wrong with me. I have no idea, I'm blind to it all, I'm literally clueless as to how to improve, or if if it is even worth trying and I should simply give up? Any suggestions or insights? I just can't get over how utterly worthless/pointless my life is. There is no good reason for me to continue to exist, and even if there was it wouldn't shatter this depression. I literally wish I was dead, I can't take it anymore. Why the **** was I put on the earth? So people could make themselves feel better by comparing themselves to me. Real nice, God, real nice.