i live for drugs

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, Apr 30, 2011.

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  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    one of the main reasons im alive , is being of drugs , they keep me alive and help my mood swings , yes this is prescribtion ones , BUT another reason i live is to use recerational drugs ... i love them and they love me and the dealer loves me even more as each week i bring him a handful of cash and he sets me off on my way with a handful of stuff to keep me going thru the week ... week in and week out i live for that ulimate high ... it never comes as ive already had it ,but thers always hope with that sort of thing .... anyone else living like this ? whats ur take on it ?
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Honestly, I live a marijuana and benzodiazepine fueled existence.

    I both love, and hate it I guess.
  3. Arthur523

    Arthur523 Well-Known Member

    It's a bad cycle to get into, but I know what you mean. When I was at my most depressed state, all I seemed to do or care about were drugs. I'm about to give the herbal teas and stuff (legal highs) a try. At least it's cheaper and it's legal, so I can actually save some money, plus not have to worry about anything. Gonna buy some Salvia and Kratom tomorrow.. might get some sort of herbal tea as well. YUM YUM!
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I used to live for that excess - the party lifestyle - staying up all night and tripping with your mates on some spur of the moment idea that ends up with some epic adventure.

    As for handing money to dealers in New Zealand, I know people who lived there and they were all big smokers who grew their own out in the back of wherever.

    If your buying drugs such as coke, crack, heroin or speed, you should give those drugs up as the high with heroin and crack is NEVER going to get better, likewise with coke which is mostly rubbish anyhow but even good coke soon becomes boring. Speed also - its more just the addictive drugs sold by seedy dealers, drugs not worth using in my opinion.

    Pharms are at least safe as in you know the ingredients. You know how much to take and how it will work.

    IF you suffer from depression, and you've tried all the usual street drugs and the legal highs, maybe you should try an SSRI out - after all this is a drug which can help depression.

    People use all manner of substances and I suppose its each to their own in some ways. That said, you know that some drugs are really bad for you - heroin is a road to ruin as we all know and crack also. Any drug if addictive can be damaging, but as ever its damage limitation which is the best approach.

    Sometimes damage limitation means avoiding drugs - especially if you are depressed which might see a variety of drugs bring relief that soon turns into its own pain when you cannot get the drug in question.

    A lot of people mask depression with various drugs but masking it is not a cure.

    Then again, some people find relief and know its just a temporary relief - and I guess there is an argument for making some drugs legal.

    Good luck and be safe.

    Know your drug.
  5. Craig

    Craig Banned Member

    I do. I have been there and gone down that road too long. Every day for me is a fight not to return to that particular drug.

    I know that you only get your 'ultimate high' twice. Once is the first time and the next is when you die. You will never get it again. It will just drain you. Your money. It will destroy the relationships you have with your family and friends. The friends you make wont even be real friends. Just people your united with that have the same goal. Dope will always mean more to them than the friendship they have with you. I have never had or herd of an exception.

    Quitting is so fucking hard. So long as you can access it I dont see it happening. Maybe your a stronger person than me and you can pull it off but I know I had to relocate. Melissa had to go half way accross the country to get out of that life style and she still comes up with excuses to go back so she can use.

    Im so sorry that your carrying this through life. It numbs everything else out. Nothing else matters. Suboxone helps so much but its will power that will get you to break this cycle. If you dont you will chase the illusion of getting that feeling again to your death. Dont let it destroy you and every relationship you have. Its not worth it.
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Esther... :hug:

    I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with the drugs.

    I'm here if you need me. :hug:
  7. Arthur523

    Arthur523 Well-Known Member

    I've been trying to get some prescribed temporary relief from my docor, but he still doesn't see the need. All this does is force me to buy drugs off the street, and to self-medicate with alcohol. Do you know of any special phrases or explanations I should try to say to my doctor? I explained to him a symptom I was having, and he turned at me and told me right in my eye: "You had an anxiety attack." But still, I walked out of the office that day without any anti-anxiety prescriptions. I'm also just getting clean from OxyCodone, but I could use at least a xanax or some other benzodiazapine to help me calm down.

    P.S. Oh yeah, my current diagnosis is Major Depression, anxiety disorder, learning disability in processing information, etc..... and I'm currently just on anti-depressants, seroquel, resperidone and trazadone as my sleeping pill. As you can see, I don't have any meds that I can take to give me temporary relief besides the 50 mg Seroquel, but I can take a 4th of one of those pills and I will knock myself right out like a tranquilizer dot for 8 hours.
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