I live in the constant emotional pain of being lonely

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lyme, Dec 4, 2006.

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  1. Lyme

    Lyme Guest

    This is probably so strange that I doubt anyone here can even relate. Just wanted to get a load off my chest, as they say. I am a freak of the strangest kind. I don't see how anyone can even help me or even relate to me. I've read other posts here, and other people are going through much worse situations than I am. I don't think my situation hurts any less, though.

    Every day of my life is spent in constant pain. The pain of being absolutely lonely. I have no friends. No one that likes me. No one that loves me. I have no idea what it feels like to have someone that actually wants to be around me. I am a 25 year old guy without a friend in the world. I have never been in a romantic relationship.

    I am so lonely that it hurts every single day. I ache for one good friend. I have never had a close friend. I have no one that truly and honestly wants to listen to me. I am starved for human affection and companionship. It feels like something similar to being extremely hungry but never having anything to eat, if that makes any sense.

    Every night, around this time, I cry. I am a man that cries every day. I cry because I am so lonely. I don't know how to make friends. I am extremely shy and avoidant. I can't talk to people.

    I just want the hurt to go away. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I wish I didn't need human affection, but I do. I don't know what to do. It is overwhelming, eating from inside. I just feel hollow. I think that dying is the only way to make this end. I don't know why I have to suffer like this. I don't know what I've done to deserve this.
     
  2. Nihil Loc

    Nihil Loc New Member

    Don't think your the only one feeling this way. I'm a 22 year old guy and have similar problems being social. Sometimes I get very depressed when thinking about a future without any genuine friends and the benefit of being connected.

    Cheer up dude. I wish I could be more helpful in someway.
     
  3. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    I can relate to you. I'm also 25 and never had gf, and don't have close friends. I know that feeling, there is nothing worse than being lonely. If you want to talk just give me PM. :hug:
     
  4. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Hi there Lyme

    Do you have a job or are you unable to work ? The reason I ask is that if you can, get yourself a job behind a bar in a club or a busy pub. It is amazing how it can open up your world and you will find it alot easier to start socialising if you can just get yourself there.

    I was totally petrified when I did my first night and I was so close to not going but forced myself ... anyway after that first night I couldnt wait to get back , it gave me some of my best memories and I got over my shyness :)
     
  5. Erika

    Erika Account Closed

    Im very lonely too. It is a horrible horrible feeling. I think maybe you should try to open up to people in some ways, bit by bit.

    Not sure if it makes sense to you but i hope it does. Just know that you are not alone, there are dozzens of people liek you.

    Good luck ;)
     
  6. left behind

    left behind Guest

    i can totally relate to you and i also thought that no-one would relate to me
    i tthing there could be quite a few people on this site that feel this way (i could be wrong)
     
  7. the_collector

    the_collector Member

    i'm lonely too, i got past a lot of that by just getting out in the world and trying my best not to care what anyone else might think of me and just try to enjoy myself. more people are interested in other people who aren't miserable and feeling sorry for themselves. i went out by myself and just had a great time, danced by myself and just chatted to people i never even knew. i didn't think i had it in me. i just needed a little bit of confidence in myself to do that. i cry a lot too, i think lots of people are in that same postion, you just have to find them.
     
  8. twilight

    twilight Well-Known Member

    I can definitely relate. I am also extermely shy which is so frequently misunderstood as that I don't want to talk to anyone. Anytime that I do speak to people I can tell I am saying completely the wrong thing. So I don't say much. People around me have the advantage of years of experience being social. I hardly have any. I have learned the hard way that if someone does seem interested in being your friend, don't push them away. Try as hard as you can to get to know them. Not that you would push them away but I don't know why I seem to do this sometimes. :sad: Good luck. I hope you find someone! I'm also here for you if you want to pm me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2006
  9. Lyme

    Lyme Guest

    Thanks for the replies...

    I'm sorry that this is so long. I just started writing and it all came flowing out. Don't feel obligated to read it if you don't want to.

    I just wish there was a way to make the feeling go away. I would love to just be numb to my emotions. I don't take any medication, I don't smoke or drink or take any drugs. I just feel the constant burn all day long. I don't know how else to describe it besides an intense feeling of being "empty" inside. I just feel that I am missing so much. I would do anything for a "best friend", someone that I could tell anything and connect to on an emotional level. I am intensely jealous of people who have that. It kills me inside when I see friends walking together outside, or a couple holding hands in the mall. It feels like getting kicked in the stomach. I want to just curl up and die.

    It's probably hard to understand for people that aren't in this situation. It probably sounds strange. I have had the opportunities to make friends, but I am extremely shy and anxious, and to top it off, I have bad social skills. I could never get anything past the "aquaintances" level. I think that I just come across as so withdrawn and awkward that people think I am just not interested. I can't look people in the eyes when talking. I always feel my face turning red if I try to talk to someone, especially a female. I can only imagine how bad I look.

    Everyone needs someone that can connect with them emotionally. Someone that will listen to anything they have to say, and truly care about it. Someone that will pick you them up when they're feeling down. Everyone deserves to be loved. It is a basic human need: the feeling of being loved. Denied to me, because of my shyness and anxiety.

    I have done nothing to deserve this. I am a good person. I care about others. I truly want and like to help people. When other people hurt, I hurt. I feel so bad every time I read messages on this forum. If I could, I would take everyone's hurt away and give it to myself. I am hardly alive, anyway. I have no reason to wake up in the morning.

    I am crying again. I am such a mess... :(
     
  10. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Hello. You say you don't take any medication. Well I'm no doctor, but I have some experience with this. I think it's pretty clear that you have social anxiety disorder. There are meds that can greatly help with this. You don't have to feel this way all the time with modern medicine. Also, on a self-help note, try to remember that almost everyone is more concerned about how THEY look and act than how YOU look and act. What may be obvious and uncomfortable for you 99% of people will never even notice. Hope you feel better :)
     
  11. Dont feel strange and like everyone is having friends and u dont...I have some people around but how can I call them friends and when they dont know how I feel,dont want to know and even if they did they wouldnt care?...I have been hurt from people so many times that now I spend my free time in my room in front of this pc and at least I know noone can hurt me
     
  12. Serene

    Serene Member

  13. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I think youll find your situation is very common amongst SF members, especially the male population. There are quiet a few members on this forum that suffer extreme loneliness and isolation, im one of them.....ive done it all myself of course, but it doesnt make my predicament any easier to take.

    Your right its EXTREMELY depressing.
     
  14. Erika

    Erika Account Closed

    lyme dont get me wrong but im happy to read your post. I mean it supports me emotionally and makes me feel all cousy inside as i am not alone.

    Hope i make sense
     
  15. sunshinesunny

    sunshinesunny Well-Known Member

    very very similar

    but in my case i feel i have self enemosity against my self

    which has three sources

    purely my self
    purely others especially my family and folks
    a complex hybrid of two factors

    i was very very charming young and handsome
    girls were always on to me
    but i kept back

    forced by my family and jealous folks around me
     
  16. Milkdrops

    Milkdrops Well-Known Member

    I dont think anyone has to be lonely I really believe its a matter of self conditioning in ones mind. ANYONE can make friends I guess thats the beauty of the world in that EVERYBODYS different. What might be unpopular to one person isnt to the next, its what makes the world go round.

    I'm lonely and i'm 26 and have often found myself craving female companionship. I did have friends but we have drifted apart. i've often found myself never having a problem making friends as I beleive i conduct myself with a friendly and down to earth personality which seems to be appreciated but then my mind psychosis kicks in and tells me "your not good enough to have him as a friend" or "your not good enough to date her" I was never strong within myself and the way I see it is i'm paying the price in later life BUT i'm working on snapping out of this whole self hate thing.

    Point is that one needs to try and overcome there own despair and change it with self belief before doing anything else.
     
  17. Multiple Man

    Multiple Man Well-Known Member

    I actually spend a couple hours a day actually pretending I have imaginary friends and a imaginary wife, kids and family. The loneliness is so unbearable, but ive osolated myself for so long I have devoid myself completely of any social ability. And im not sure I can even live with anyone. Im agoraphobic and have panic attacks in public. I cant even function emotionally. And ive lost all control over how I think and feel. Dreaming and my imagination will probably be the closest I will get to feeling what it is like to be loved.
     
  18. left behind

    left behind Guest

  19. I'm nearly 25. Same situation as you. No friends.
     
  20. left behind

    left behind Guest

    do you guys live on your own?

    im 18 and my dad wants me to move out soon. im gunna feel so alone living on my own with SA
     
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